VH1 Emailed Me

So the whole celebrity tongue thing is starting to make us famous (just like I planned). It all started when Hayden Panettiere licked something else. She sure does lick. And if any of you are thinking about her licking things RIGHT NOW, turn yourself into the cops, cause she is only 17.

Anyway, Hayden Panettiere licked this thing and lots of blogs started to catch on to her serial licking. And one blog in particular decided they needed supporting evidence. That's where the gallery comes in. Idontlikeyouinthatway.com used US as an image source. Don't believe me? Well click here and see for yourself! Of course, they didn't give us an actual link (the dicks) but meh. It's something.

So then that night, I get an email from VH1 asking me who owns the pic. The email was very loving, and I could tell that the woman who sent it probably sensed how awesome I was. She wrote lovingly:

"Hey there -
There is a picture of Hayden Panettiere licking the ass of a statute.  Do you know who the photographer/photo house who owns that photo?
Thanks."

Unfortunately I did not know the answer. But being the savvy magnate that I am, I emailed her back and told her she was free to mention the gallery on 'Best Week Ever' in exchange for me not helping her at all. Then I sat back and waited for the recognition we so richly deserve. The next day, I got this back from the lady at VH1, who is pretty much my girlfriend at this point:

"Thanks Acadia - you gave me a good laugh!  We didn't use it in the end.  Couldn't find the true owner.  Thanks for your help. Have a great weekend."

What did I learn from this? Well, I know now that someone at VH1 has me in her contact list, and as she scrolls through it, she will see my name and probably sigh and think about her and me running through a field hand in hand. So when you see me walking down the street lighting cigars with Mike Bloomberg's wife or throwing my gold bars in the trash because they are too heavy, you'll know its because the Celebrity Tongue section is famous. Don't ask me to defend my logic. I'm too busy corresponding with TV networks.