Why Rosie Quit The View

I watched the bitch slap that Rosie O'Donnell and Elizabeth Hasselbeck had on The View. I was not impressed but I doubt anyone would be surprised about that. If I had been there, I would have distracted them by scattering some corn on the ground. Then I could have tried to hang around with Alicia Silverstone while the Host Hens pecked at the delicious treat I gave them.

But I wasn't there, so I had to dissect the argument rationally. Like the sexy socio-political scientist that I am, I reviewed the tape and have reached two conclusions:

• Rosie should not have implied that our troops are terrorists
• Elizabeth should have clearly stated she knew Rosie does not think our troops are terrorists. Except for Terrorist Todd the Terrorist Troop, but he is an anomaly. And come to think of it, we should really arrest him since we know his name. Wait. We know Osama's name, too.

But rather than man up and finish her contract, Rosie decided to quit like a quitting quitter. She may act like she is doing it because her feelings are hurt and blah blah blah - but it is actually a calculated business move. Rosie looked at the available data and realized she needs to move on. This is the equation I believe she used:

Good move, Rosie.