Another box of chocolates? Yawn! How about a box of chocolate body frosting, instead?
Board games seem boring? Not ours! Spice up your love life with the The Kama Sutra Game.
We promise that after reading this article, you'll be able to find the perfect sexy gift for that special someone (or someones) in your life!
Test the Waters
You might be apprehensive about giving someone a vibrator or dildo as a gift. Will they like it? Will they be offended? Will they think you're weird?
These are all valid question - not everyone is comfortable with sex toys. If your recipient falls into this category, don't despair. Test the waters by giving an innocent, novelty-type gift. Combined with a MyPleasure gift certificate, this type of "beginner's" gift can be a great way to turn your recipient on to the fun of shopping for erotic gifts.
I Can't Buy a Vibrator!
If you just don't feel comfortable buying a sex toy why not give a sensual, yet non-sexual, gift?
Bath products make a wonderful gift for just about anyone, and most couples will love receiving a beautiful bottle of massage oil. Sensual gifts allow you to be creative with your gift selection, and your recipients will enjoy a break from the usual flowers, balloons and stuffed animals.
What can couples do to solve such a dilemma?
The first step is to talk about it - not in bed but at a time when you are both alone, calm, undisturbed and have time for a real discussion.
Talk about why it's uncomfortable for you. Everybody has sexual comfort zones, and you need to explain why oral sex goes beyond your sexual comfort zone.
Does the person who does not want oral sex want to like it or not want to like it? Many people have never tried oral sex and may have wrong ideas about it.
The key issue is whether the man or woman has the desire to try to like it: If the desire is there, a solution becomes possible.
Norman Fertel, MD, an obstetrician/gynecologist and marital and sex therapist in private practice in Brooklyn, NY, said that conflicts over oral sex are not that different from other conflicts in a relationship.
"First, you have to ask if this is something you would call a 'core issue,' meaning that the one who doesn't want to do it will not do it under any conditions," he said. "Or is it because they really haven't tried or experimented with it?"
In other words, said Fertel, determine if the issue is negotiable.
Finding Solutions
If you find that discussions about oral sex have failed and your partner is still unwilling to try it or does so only reluctantly and without enthusiasm, you may want to get some help from a sex therapist to work out the dispute.
Why Is Oral Sex So Important?
Not everyone cares that much about oral sex, and many couples do quite nicely without it. But for some people, more often men, life is not the same without it.
Some people don't feel their love life is complete if you can't 'take all of me'. To them the lack of oral sex sets boundaries on a relationship, and there are some people who really do not want those kinds of limits and will always feel they are missing something important.
In rare situations, the refusal of one partner to perform oral sex can even end a marriage. Again, it's more often the man who decides that it's a make-or-break issue. He may be going through a mid-life crisis or just sensing his age, feeling that this is his last chance for complete happiness.
A lot of people leave marriages, and oral sex is definitely one of the issues. They really want it all or at least the chance to get it all. But with a little work, compromise and understanding, most disputes over oral sex can eventually be happily resolved.
Don't talk to a man first.
Don't stare at a man or talk too much.
Don't go Dutch on a date or meet him anywhere. Have him pick you up.
Don't call him. Rarely return his calls.
Always end phone calls first.
Don't accept a Saturday night date after Wednesday.
Always end the date first.
Stop dating him if he doesn't buy you a romantic birthday or Valentine's gift.
Don't see him more than once or twice a week.
Be honest but mysterious.
Don't tell him what to do.
Let him take the lead.
Don't live with a man or leave things at his apartment.
Don't do anything else but casual kissing on the first date.
Don't rush into sex.
Don't discuss "The Rules" with your therapist.
How do I have "good" sex?
What follows is not a set of rules. Rules about sex are impossible-- what should matter is that what you do makes you feel good. And "feeling good" should last past the sex itself-- you should not feel anxious afterwards about getting her pregnant or catching some horrible disease, so planning ahead about contraception and safe sex is part of the idea.
What time should we have sex?
When you have sex doesn't really matter. What should matter instead is that you and your partner have sex when you are both comfortable. Some people prefer to make love at the break of dawn, some in the afternoon sun, some in the darkness of night. More important than time of day is the time you have to spend. Give yourself a lot of time to have sex the first time. A weekend is ideal, but at least the whole day, including sleep time.
Should we eat or drink anything before sex?
Avoid eating a heavy meal, since that'll just make you sleepy. Eat light, don't drink too much alcohol, if any at all. It may help you shed inhibitions, but it may also make his erection much more difficult to achieve and you want to spend more time in the bedroom than the bathroom anyway, right?
Where should we have sex?
Where you have sex is probably a more important decision. Finding a place where you both can be private for up to forty-eight hours can be difficult at that age where most people are planning on losing their virginity. But it's worth it. Cars are no longer big enough to have sex in, and the outdoors has less privacy, bugs, sand, and pine needles.
A bed is probably the best thing to make love in, still. Hopefully you'll have a room to yourself, with all the amenities that a bedroom affords, including heat, comfort, space, and the bathroom. Take a shower together! If you're about to have sex, you've probably had your hands all over each other before now. Get to know each other's bodies. Take your time. That's what lovemaking is about.
What do we need to bring?
Bring what you need to make you comfortable. Birth control, condoms, maybe your favorite pillow or a bathrobe.
Will we come at the same time?
Don't worry about making orgasm simultaneous. Some women do not orgasm during intercourse until they have gained experience, and even if you both are capable of climax, the odds are very much against the two of you coming together the first time. Enjoy yourselves, and rely on one another to tell the truth about what is pleasurable and what is satisfying.
Jan 20
Hello Reader,
This applies to real life.
Just thought I would share with you one of my favorite approaches. It's very simple, guaranteed to win... AND NEVER TURNED DOWN!
Go to the store and buy 2 bags of Hershey Kisses... one chocolate and one almond and carry them with you at all times. When you see a woman that you want to approach, take one of each and walk up to her and say, "Sometimes I see a woman that is SO PRETTY, that I have to share a kiss with her."
* hold them out *
"Do you prefer chocolate or almond?"
She will laugh... and her next comment will be, "That's good... that's the best "pick-up" line I have ever heard." THEN you hit her with the REAL LINE...
"That's not a "pick-up" line... it's a
"I WANT TO MEET YOU LINE!"
You will see a glow in her eyes like never before. YOU WILL be viewed a different.... SHE WILL TELL HER FRIENDS and she will never forget that moment the rest of her life.
Romance starts with the approach. Woman LOVE a situation that is memorable. Women LOVE to talk about the 1st time they met their boyfriend and how he approached her.
Use tricks and set traps, and set up a memorable situation.
Remember... a lady killer needs 2-3 minutes to charm a women.
An Assassin does it instantly.
*This does not apply to e-dating*
Jan 14
GET A HOBBY:
Join a gym, learn to play a guitar, whatever... just don't let your life revolve around women.
SHUT UP:
The less women know about you, the more they want to know. Keep your problems (every kind of problem) to yourself, stop whining and bitching about everything, have a positive outlook on everything, don't be a pessimist.
WHAT TO TALK ABOUT:
Go with the flow... the conversation has to be about 70% her and 30% you. Talk about her favorite subject--herself. Ask open-ended questions (why, how, etc.).
LISTEN:
Listen to what she has to say but never change your beliefs for a girl. Pay attention to what she says, she'll drop hints as to what she wants to talk about. NEVER give a girl a direct answer, unless the answer is no. Let her work to deserve the information you gradually reveal about yourself. Immediately direct the conversation towards her when you don't want to answer more of her annoying questions... bust on her by saying something like: "Come on, you can do better than that... let's leave those questions for when we are married."
BE DIRECT:
Don't beat around the bush. If you call a girl to ask her out, do it immediately after she answers; the longer you wait, the harder it will be. And never use the phrase "would you like to", that's begging. Instead use "let's." "Let's go to the lake next weekend" sounds better than "Would you like to go to the lake next weekend?" The first one is more a command than a question.
ALWAYS HAVE A PLAN:
There's nothing worse than calling a girl to ask her out and then asking her to decide on what to do. You are the man, therefore you are the one who has to take charge and decide what the two of you will be doing for the date. Make it interesting and different -- bowling, miniature golf, pool, foosball, jogging -- anything physical is a great idea because you won't have to do as much talking and therefore will have less opportunities to mess up with something that you say.
5 THINGS IN YOUR POCKETS:
1) Gum for nice breath
2) Chap Stick for nice "kissable" lips
3) A pen
4) Paper
5) Your wallet
* Always have condoms somewhere in your vehicle and house.
LESS IS MORE:
When dealing with women, less is better than more. Compliment them less (only sparingly and when they have been nice enough to deserve one), call them less (once a week), stay on the phone less (5-10 mins, max), see them less (once or twice a week, max), less gifts (only once in a while, if she's been nice).
DATE MORE THAN ONE AT THE SAME TIME:
You will be happier and avoid a lot of headaches if you are dating more than one girl. If one blows you off, you go to the next one.
MOVE ON:
This is one of the most important things to learn -- don't be clingy and move on to the next one if a girl is giving you problems or just blows you off. You have a better chance of getting her back by moving on than by being a wuss who can't live without her.
ON THEIR THOUGHTS:
Forget about what women want and all that other bullshit. Women don't even know what they want themselves, so it is your duty as a man to make her believe that you are what she wants. You do this by being a challenge and by not taking their shit. Treat women's thoughts as non-existent.
YOU ARE NUMBER 1:
Always put yourself first... protect your heart at all times and think from the "I" perspective when making decisions. Most women are selfish, so should you. Build a pedestal for yourself instead of building one for her.
DON'T JUST BE YOURSELF:
Read an article by Allen Thompson on this topic; it is a fascinating article.
PASS THEIR TESTS:
Women will test you to see how much you will let them get away with. It can be something as insignificant as whining about the type of music that you listen to, and asking you to change the station. This is where you put your foot down, and say something like: "Now that you are whining about it, that's all that I will listen to". Pay attention to these little tests, if passed, the women are yours from then on because they have found a MAN.
BE A CHALLENGE:
I have covered this topic above in "less is more" ... end dates first, hang up first when on the phone with her, etc. Always have doubts about your relationship to her. She'll get the hint that you are probably seeing other girls.
BE A GOOD LOVER:
Study books or articles on becoming the best lover she's ever had. If done right the first time, they'll keep coming back for more. Practice and become a good kisser as well, women love it.
DON'T LET THEM GET TO YOU:
Be calm and don't show anger when it comes to interacting with women. Don't give them the pleasure of seeing how they can affect you so easily. Walk away if you need to. It is not the end of the world. Take arguments calmly and hear her side of the story first, that's the easiest way to win any argument. Realize that most of the time, she'll say that she's pissed about something and it will be something totally different. It is your job to find out what it is that she's pissed about.
HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR:
Make fun of them as often as possible... don't take life too seriously. Women go out on dates to have fun, not to be bored. Be funny every chance you get.
HAVE FUN:
After all is done, at least you will remember the good times you had, even if she was playing games with you. At least you had fun while she played stupid games.
YOU ARE BETTER OFF:
Being alone is better than being with the wrong girl -- you'll be happier.
LOVE:
Love and relationships are for women only... they made this stuff up while men were building and making the world what it is today. As far as a man is concerned, love is just another word. After all, there's no universal meaning of the word love.
Mort and Monkeybutt tie the knot
Robo cock and supertramp plan to have sex
Neo craves a handjob
Lashana and Daiquiri plan to have hot lesbo sex (with penetration)
To The women of the superficial,
Why do you draw closer to the alpha males? They aim to mock you and ultimately break your heart. This is the internet so no one is serious right? Fact is everyone is so serious they malfunction when another member shows signs of negligence and dares to type to another member of the opposite sex.
When you log on you look for a certain name to have posted, you look for a certain post, and some of you even check a posters previous posts through their profile. It's absolutely normal, isnt it?
An elder man once told me, "the internet will ruin lives and kill people". I used to laugh at him. I Now I ponder his rhetoric.
moving right along....
Gay men on the superficial need to come clean. I'm tired finding out by reading Pm's and deciphering your posts. Props to adonistic for staying true to his colors.
and not being...
cryptic, doubtful, dubious, enigmatic, enigmatical, equivocal, inconclusive, indefinite, indeterminate, inexplicit, obscure, opaque, puzzling, questionable, tenebrous, uncertain, unclear, unintelligible, and vague.
Who's getting fucked this weeked?:
Not supertramp
Not JD
Not Alex
Not House
Not Rodeo
Not Neo
Not Rubi
Not Bumba
Not Lashana
Not Gliss
Not Mrrick
Not Backfat
Not UserName
Not Zombie Sweetheart
Not Quinn
Not Jewbot
and certainly not Ball.
It was easier to make this list than the one you expected. Asshole!
The rest of you stand a good chance, providing you can close the browser window and get the fuck outside.
Sex is important, the action and the separation. It is when we get the two confused with one another that we have issues with survival.
Keep the following definition in mind as you read....
The Sextion
Sex: The sexual urge or instinct as it manifests itself in behavior.
The condition or character of being female or male; the physiological, functional, and psychological differences that distinguish the female and the male.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This week we'll scratch the surface of the sexual magnetism, seduction, and courting that goes on within the SF Forums. My Job is sneak around and deceive you. Simply to reveal what goes on in the background of the forums. I read all of your private messages. (not so private after all huh?)
As we read the sextion we scan for our names, but we think nothing of our e-lovers. Just ourselves, are we this selfish in real life?
Suspected Subservient Lovers:
Juice Wearing Tights, Daiquiri, Supertramp, Superficial, JD, Ducataristocrat, Tessa, Jeremy, yoyo, JD, KiKi, Apotheosis, Backfat, Monkeybutt, Morticia, Acadia, Yogurty Pie, Minionated, Jethro, Zombie Sweetheart...
JD and Robocock jerk it to pictures of Supertramp or so I was told by an insider.
Jeremy and Tessa have been meeting in Ohio for sex and beer.
Alex lost his lost his virginty to YOYO and asked me not to tell. Well technically I didn't say a word.
MrHouse Needs some pussy immediately, or hes going to spontaneously combust. The facade of wanting to be a virgin has gone on long enough.
TinaDoll represents herself quite well on the boards. By that I mean she must be real easy in real life, just offering the pussy to whoever will partake of the squishy goodness she claims to have.
That brings me to the young Jew pie. Ha, she just loves to talk about fornication and knows nothing of it. Maybe one day she will get the cock she so desires and it will be all she dreamed about.
Rubi has been in the states and what do ya know its the same old story. She can't get sex from her husband. Why don't you just get some penis in your life...some real penis.
Zombie and Ball seem to have hit it off secretly and now they have the balls to display their love for everyone to see. The sexual tension between the two has to be one of the most amusing thing ever. Their desktops are probably soiled by now.
As I was scanning through pm's I found that a few men like to show all their assets. Surprisingly enough, some of the recipients were of the same gender.
Mort has a girlfriend but he seems to have gained the title manwhore, which doesn't seem very fitting. My guess is he likes to make stuff up.
Speaking of making up stories...
Bumba seems to fancy all the ladies at some point of the day, and hate most of them all the time. He states that he gets pussy but I'm doubtful because he is constantly on the forums. I mean with an average of 50+ posts per day how can he really be getting all that pussy.
Which brings me to Gentleman. He's a genuine character, but I thing in real life he's insecure.I don't see this guy batting pussy away like he claims to. I wonder if he's really a virgin.
Miss Diagnosis has been diagnosed with a strong case of dildophobia, she should really get out and do something or someone.
As for myself. I'm rich and I aim to have drunken sex with all the "beautifull" women on the superficial forums, one inebriated vagina at a time.
We all have little secrets in the closet, some of us send pictures, some of us fall in love, and some of us go as far as to confide all of our deepest darkest secrets with other members. I'm watching all of you.