Teknolust - reviewed by Hotspur

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Teknolust (2002)

My favorite science fiction movie of all time is Blade Runner (1982 – Harrison Ford, Rutger Hauer, Sean Young, Darryl Hannah.) It too was about cyborgs, but I trust all of my dear readers have seen it and love it as I do, so I’ll review prrysomething more recent -- twenty years hence to be exact.

The stars of Teknolust are Tilda Swinton. Yes, stars. She plays the genetic scientist Rosetta Stone who uses her own DNA and a computer software program to replicate herself three times as self-replicating automatons (SRAs) named Ruby, Olive and Marinne.

Rosetta is your classic geek: unstylish naturally curly brown hair, coke bottle glasses and zero sex-appeal -- zilch. The three SRAs, however, each possess a unique beauty and personality that Rosetta could never achieve for herself. Due to the ethical implications of her creations, she keeps her children/sisters(?) hidden, except for Ruby. It seems these SRAs have a slight flaw. They need regular injections of the Y chromosome in order to survive.

The best aspect of this story of three artificial humans living in a sort of microwave oven is the visual impact of the film. The colors and costumes are stunning. In a none too subtle nod to her name, Ruby’s signature color is red. Played by Tilda Swinton, everything about her is red: her silky dress, her room, her nails, her lipstick, even the condoms she gives to the men whose semen she is harvesting.

Olive and Marinne, both played by Tilda Swinton, round out the trio with their own distinct personalities. Marinne is a needy, emotionally vulnerable type and Olive is her nurturing sister. Everything about Marinne is blue. And, you guessed it, everything associated with Olive is green. That movie poster doesn‘t pull any punches. You don’t have to work too hard for the symbolism.

So, back to the story: Ruby goes into the real world to hunt sperm. Since she’s essentially a brand new being, she has no experience interacting with men; when she is asleep, Rosetta programs her by exposing her subconscious to pick-up lines from old B&W Hollywood movies. This plan is successful (she scores) but I don’t see the relevance as she is certainly pretty and sexy enough. The comic value of the stilted way she uses them is enough to justify its inclusion. The semen is then stored in jars and labeled with the man’s photo which Ruby takes with her handy dandy Polaroid necklace. Later, they brew it up and have sort of a High Tea.

Anyway, this goes along for a time until things turn a little dicey. Ruby’s one-night-stands become afflicted with little tiny barcode rashes on their foreheads, which I imagine they could probably live with. Unfortunately, they also develop erectile dysfunction and their hard drives crash, neither of which any man can live with.

The epidemic comes to the attention of Edward Hopper, not played by Tilda Swinton, but instead played by James Urbaniak. He is a Federal agent of some sort, charged with investigating the bizarre outbreak. He seeks out Rosetta Stone as a bio-geneticist resource to aid his investigation. This, understandably, makes Rosetta even more paranoid. He is also joined by a private dick named Dirty Dick, played by Karen Black.

As time goes by, the girls become more and more human. Ruby even falls in love with Sandy (Jeremy Davies) an utterly dysfunctional copy store employee who lives with his mother. He is an utter failure. Even his copies come out wrong.

You may have concluded that Teknolust is a chick-flick and you might be right, but I enjoyed it immensely. I wouldn’t say the story is well developed and doesn’t always flow smoothly, but its visual impact makes up for any shortcomings. This movie is truly eye candy: stunning eye candy in technicolor with some wonderfully humorous moments. If you’ve never seen a woman unwittingly try to buy a donut with a purse full of red condoms… well, you just haven’t lived.

This one is worth watching.