Mother's Day Buffet

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Jethro owns a restaurant. And since he still seems to have enough money to have a computer he must be doing alright. He brought in some pics from the buffet he ran for Mother's Day. But, as has happened before, he left them in the break room and the staff got a hold of them. The following captions are brought to you courtesy of the Gallery Staff.

It appears Jethro cheaped out by providing his guests little plastic plates instead of normal sized plates. It is Mother’s Day, for crying out loud. These women shit out watermelons to give us life; let them pig out for once! I gave my mom a plate so big both her arms ripped off when I handed it to her. And she smiled at me and said thank you because I made it myself. Out of a rock.

I think that tiny card says “Only one plate per person, you fatties.” Customer service is just one of the many amenities Jethro offers. Don’t forget the tiny plastic plates!

We think the green card is left over from Christmas; the red one is from Valentine's Day. We can only assume, as we didn’t hear of a food poisoning outbreak, that the food was not from any previous holidays. We haven’t any proof, though.

We decided if we had eaten there that day, we would’ve gone all out for the tiny fried shrimp. Given the size of the plates, the lasagna and the gravy-topped turkey breast would’ve hung over the sides and dripped and made a horrible mess. Those shrimp though! Those fuckers can pile up nicely. And look how pretty the lemon wedge looks in the cocktail sauce. We would’ve taken the whole bowl to our table though. Fuck the rest of them fatties. They can eat their shrimp dry.

We have to admit, this looks pretty yummy. But, even if we were willing to risk the public humiliation of placing giant floppy chunks of lasagna on teeny lil plates and then walking to our table, there isn’t a serving spoon. And we are NOT about to go caveman on a tray of lasagna. Not in public, anyway.

We couldn’t come up with a pink holiday from which he might have recycled this card. Maybe Jethro’s restaurant celebrates Bubble Gum Day. IT COULD HAPPEN!

We were surprised at the quantity and variety of Jethro’s buffet until we saw this Magic Chef and then it all made sense. We cut corners every chance we get too, buddy.

We couldn’t figure out why this picture is so oddly tilted. We decided it would be cool to believe Jethro’s joint is actually located on a ship. An old, beached pirate ship that is listing badly. And we started to pretend Jethro really looks like Johnny Depp but decided the reputation of super good food on a listing pirate ship was reason enough to keep the customers coming in.