don't understand women - PsychoX

Men are grand. Aren't they? They doggedly trek into crumbling buildings to rescue distressed cats. They clone human ears on sheep backs for …useful household purposes. Men have walked on the moon. They've boldly sailed unknown seas. They've invented math so ridiculous, it takes an entire adult life span to calculate one problem. Men have split the atom and harnessed its power like contemporary, lightening bolt - wielding Jupiters.

Yet they claim they can't understand women.

Recently, I saw an online article that disturbed me. It was a Reuters? or a Harvard? or some pompous / important study that offered neurochemical, (and therefore official,) excuses for this vast oversight in Divine programming. This study further appeals to women as the smart and sensitive gender to have mercy on these creatures whose serotonin levels have plunged to such a depth that they become dangerously incommunicative. This plunge in “normal” neurochemical brain activity causes long bouts of television watching, followed by acute beer enhanced somnambulistic states. Clinically, we should just leave them alone – stop trying to force them to understand us since it's clearly against their genetic makeup.

Wow that's a wicked smart strategy, isn't it? A doctor just attempted to call them in sick to our relationships.

Well I, for one, won't have that. I don't buy it. How plausible would it be if women united and formed a committee to release the following statement.

“It has been decided that men must be chivalrous enough to finance our inherent, genetic, and biochemical shopping needs. We, furthermore, find it molecularly impossible to get along with your friends or your parents, and were it not for a pesky rise in the levels of catecholamites in our immunonervous systems, we might be able to tell you what's bothering us before Midnight - Pacific Time.”

On second thought, that's not a half - bad statement.

But to not understand women is to be either A) not very smart, or B) very lazy.

Allow me to elucidate. A man goes to his job every day. He is happy when he receives recognition for a job well done. He feels overlooked and unappreciated when he receives no recognition. He becomes derelict in his duties and starts sneakily looking through the papers for a new job opportunity. So it is true of relationships and women.

Because, let's face it, we wouldn't have to act half as crazy if they appreciated (or even noticed,) us when we're being sweet. Non-recognition works like a dangerous plunge in our serotonin levels. While it makes men need to mindlessly watch sports to bring their EKG's back into the comfortable flat zone, it makes us have to resort to major publicity stunts to gain their recognition.

We wouldn't be forced into the tedious mental chess of making them miss us, need us, and call us. We wouldn't have to accidentally on purpose bump into them and their friends on their nights out. We wouldn't have to place that late night drunken call. We wouldn't have to threaten their ex girlfriends. Our friends would probably really like our boyfriends if we didn't have to spend so much time lamenting their unwillingness to appreciate us.

That's what it amounts to, really. Unwillingness. And I say, don't accept it. So if a doctor should knock on your door…

One last thought. Maybe there is something to this theory of genetic deficiency in men. The supporting evidence? Our children had to inherit the inability to hear the exact frequency our voices vibrate at from …someone.