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I broke up with a friend last year. We didn't have words or anything dramatic that led to the demise, I just stopped returning calls and made up lame excuses to avoid plans. Eventually she stopped calling and I stopped caring. My husband asked about her the other day, and I thought I should call her, we haven't hung out in ages. Our children are the same age, we went to the same gym for a year, and I couldn't remember why we stopped talking... Until I called her.
I spent 45 minutes on the phone last night listening to the incessant rantings of a crazed housewife. Conversation topics ranged from the latest happenings of the young and the restless to the newest Campbell's soup casserole, which was awful, so she sent an email and is now boycotting the soup giant, do I want the email forwarded so I can sign too and put an end to the madness? I heard tales of useless waitresses and incompetent grocery baggers, she just wanted her milk double bagged, how hard is that? Three quarters of an hour later, I realized that everyone in our small town is an idiot, save for this one outstanding beacon of common sense.
I hung up the phone feeling drained and annoyed with myself for giving into my curiousity. I recalled a time when a glass or two of pinot noir convinced me that calling my ex-boyfriend was the best idea ever. I couldn't for the life of me remember why we broke up, until I talked to him. I should have learned then. People don't change, especially me. The same shit that annoyed me a year ago will still annoy me now. I am currently contemplating a breathalyser feature for my phone, and I will be composing my own do not call list to post nearby, just in case I start to wonder "what ever happened to her?
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