25 Ways to Tell You've Grown Up |
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25 Ways to Tell You've Grown Up
1. Your houseplants are alive and you can't smoke
any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to
bed.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the weather channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook
up and break up.
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as
dressed up.
10. You're the one calling the police because those
fucking kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex
jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes
anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car
payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of
McDonald's leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of
the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 a.m. would
severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and
antacid instead of condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer a pretty
good deal.
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast
time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to"
replaces "I'm never going to drink that much
again."
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a
computer is for real work.
24. You no longer have to drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. When you find out your friend is pregnant, you
congratulate her instead of asking, "Oh Shit, What
The Hell Happened?"
Bonus
26. You read this ENTIRE list looking desperately
for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't
find one to save your sorry old ass. Then you send
it to a bunch of OLD friends because you know
they'll enjoy it too. AND now you know why I am
forwarding this to YOU.....
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