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There are so few people in the house now that it is much easier for me to channel my hate. My laser beam eyes will burn the bullet points into this recap.
- The typical “OMG I HAVE TO WIN THE VETO” thing came into play. The only one who really needed it was Ragan.
- The competition was the one where you have to run around the yard getting answers to questions and sort of play musical chairs until someone wins.
- The thing giving out the clues is a giant singing clam with a top hat for some reason. It is not the same giant singing clam with a top hat that I have at my house by the old box of CD’s (I checked)
- It was down to Enzo and Ragan (the two nominees). That made me happy cause you like to see people with the chance to save themselves instead of having to rely on someone else. So it came down to an answer they both knew and the CD (which was what they had to bring to the Clam, who I call Clammy) was someplace that they both remembered.
- Technically Ragan was closer to the CD than useless Enzo. Oh, for those of you who don’t know, Ragan is The Gay Guy and Enzo is The Idiot.
- Enzo beat Ragan to the CD and won Veto and now the next two bullet points will be mean-spirited.
- Ragan, you fucking idiot. The only people in the house who would have been on your team were the horrible Brendon and Rachel. You decided to get all sanctimonious and ended up with exactly Zero people on your team. Zero. And again you cry. You are a bitch. If you get voted out I won’t be sorry. You’re a dumb head and you don’t have any pals.
- Enzo you useless piece of crap. You won one veto. It was the first thing you ever won in the house. And then, even though I know some of it was joking, he still sounded like one of those people who got to play football in high school for maybe two plays per game and then spent the whole ride home on the bus talking about those two plays as if they each took like, 17 minutes. Fuck you you dummy. Give yourself the nickname of Meow Meow. WHO DOES THAT? Why did the show not choose to explain it? Why?
- After the game, they had to do some stupid punishments because of Lane opening Pandora’s Box. It was stupid. if I could invent the punishments it would be not letting them eat until they finished 100 sudoku puzzles.
- Enzo took himself off the block and got replaced with Hayden. This is because Lane (Farm Boy Two) is aligned with 3 of the 5 people in the house.
- I now believe that Baby Blonde Brittany will make it to the end.
Do any of you even watch this show?
Now that we’re on the new server I’m going to keep playing the exact same game. Except this time no hints. NO HINTS! Hintless. You won’t get a hint from me unless you ask in an amusing and/or demeaning way. Or bribing. Bribing it up. Sweeet bribes. This one is wicked hard. If you wanna win the $25.00 you are gonna have to get through this guy. Or is it a guy? I don’t know. It could be Jodie Foster or someone from Gossip Girl. Or Vange.
Heh – it’s not Vange. You think I would pay for a cool helmet like that? No way. Get guessing!
As you can see, the site is now on the new servers and Big Brother is still doing what I said they were going to do. Farm Boy 2 won HOH and instead of sticking with his pals he put his own Team Derh pal Enzo the doofus on the block instead of Baby Blonde. Bad form. Especially since now apparently the word is out that Farm Boy 2 Lane is actually Jethro Clampett and has all sorts of money. That’s gonna hurt him.
I still don’t know who to root for. I really hate them. A lot. Is it too late to root for a fire? Or fire in general. Like, as a twist, the element of Fire gets to play? It’s not too late, CBS….
When I got up this morning I was pissed off at LOST all over again. But that doesn’t have anything to do with this pic. Also, even though that IS the Empire State Building the movie is NOT King Kong. But if it were King Kong, then I have these questions for you. 1: Did you assume that King Kong Island was in the Pacific Ocean like I did? 2: If 1 is true, then would it have made sense that the boat would have docked on the West Coast? 3: If 2 is true then would it not have made sense to have a kick ass coast to coast train tour of King Kong? Doesn’t make any sense that they got to New York first. Keeping a big Gorilla on a ship for all that time is preposterous. Unless they went to South America in which case it all makes perfect sense.
But you’ve distracted me enough. That picture is NOT from King Kong.
Leeloo. Does anything say the 1990′s more than Leeloo? Well, maybe Bruce Willis holding Leeloo but I couldn’t find a picture that was big enough for that. So you have to deal with it for now. And also you have to listen to Things that Make you Go Hmmmm by C & C Music Factory. I guess many of you may not remember the ripped dude and the hot chick who lyp synched to the big fat chick who really did the singing. I guess it was some big whoop at the time but I say who cares! A show is a show. And before you start saying I have a double standard, I don’t. If Fat Albert or the fat guy from Blues Traveler had a hit song I would rather watch some handsome guy lip synch it then watch them.
I don’t know why they make such a big deal out of it. It’s not a thing that would make me go: Hmmmm. See what I did there? Segue way! This song is the best C+C Music Factory Song there is. Gonna Make You Sweat has a better hook, but this is the best song. It has too many verses and I think that rather than things that make you go hmmmm it is things that will make you knock the shit out of someone. Specially the one where the guy comes back with a tan. Except why would you have an affair and let the girl you are banging buy you underwear and then bring said underwear home? Than again, unless you are Tony Soprano you don’t have your own place to nail your mistress. Well, no place with an underwear drawer anyway.
So after the jump, as usual, you’ll get the lyrics and video. Please note the artful use of black and white and more black and more white and then some colors. The director of this video later went on to be a cop cause he stunk at making videos. Hmmmm.
So they did the double eviction and now Matt and Brendon are both evicted. I also got a new hard drive and now I have to see what I lost. I now know I didn’t lose the Big Brother picture! I now think that the final two will be Hayden and Lane. Either that or Brittany and Enzo. If it IS those two, I will probably eat something unorthox. Not a hat. I need all my hats. But maybe I’ll eat a cake shaped like a hat. Or some chips.
In fact, if Brittany and Enzo are the final two I will be asking people to make me a hat out of potato chips and I’ll eat it. Also, the site is moving to a new host so this post might not even BE HERE soon! Weird, huh? So I may as well put the Auto Tune video in again. Exceptional fast food and exceptional dance moves. Here’s to you, Ana Marie Cox and David Schuster. I know it tastes like goat shit….
ML: Any world order
That elevates one nation over another
Will fall flat
SG: Ah, snap
ML: I think that goes against the idea of American exceptionalism
SG: Exceptional fast food and exceptional dance moves.
ML: Most Americans believe that this country was gifted by God, a blessed nation, and that we are better.
SG: Yeah, we the promised land, a sacred place, gettin blessed by Joe Biden in space!
JB: God bless America!
All: Ay!
JB: Gah-awd bless America!
All: Ay!!
JB: God bless, God God bless
God bless America!!
All: Ay-men!!!
SB: Do you realize if you were to take that lettuce, dry it, and roll it, and smoke it…
MG: I know, it tastes like goat shit.
SB: You smoke your lettuce.
MG: Believe me, I’ve tried.
SB: You’re gonna end up with similar problems than if you were smoking tobacco.
MG: I know, fo sho, you should try it with tomato – burnin salad in my throat!
RM: Steve Buyer, warning complacent Americans about the risks of smoking lettuce.
MG: You can warn me all you want, but you’ll never stop my leafy green fetish.
SB: It’s not the nicotine that kills! It’s the smoooooke! The smooooooke. Cancer: it’s the smoke. Heart disease: it’s the smoke. Respiratory disease: it’s the smoooooooke! It’s the, it’s the inhalation, it’s the smooooke, the smooooooke. If they wanna obtain their nicotine, it’s okay. It’s the smooooooke, the smooooooooooooke!
SG: The more produce we come across, the more problems we see.
KC: Some companies say they’ve received hundreds of applications for just a single opening.
One man sent a shoooooe to his prospective employer
EG: Shawtayee, don’t you know
That Air Jordan was from meeee?
KC: I wore a long, white eyelet dress and a floppy white hat
And carried a walking stick
EG: Oo-wee! Am I crazy, am I trippin on shrooms
Or you singin bout pimpin on the late night news?
Katie Coo, baby boo, you got swagga like a star
Don’t stop, real talk, we gon take it to the charts!
You can be
KC: Lady Gaga
EG: I can be
KC: T-Pain
EG: We can be
KC: Bringing on the boogie
EG: Droppin rhymes like rain
You can be
KC: Lady Gaga
EG: I can be
KC: T-Pain
Both: Bringing on the boogie
EG: With floppy hats and pimp canes
LC: We’ve got some breaking news
Let’s go to Tracy Burns–she’s got all the news
TB: Actually, Liz, I think you wanna jump up to Robert
Robert: Tracy, baby, you crazy
I don’t know what the hell’s goin on
Or where the camera belongs
Let’s go to Nicole
NP: Me?
Robert: Yeah, you
NP: Me?
Robert: Baby boo
NP: Me?
Robert: Whooo-ooooooooh
NP: Me?
Robert: Nicole don’t know; let’s throw it to Joe
Joe: Uh, you know, I’m, uh, tryna get a hold of this myself
Breaking news guys, um
I, I don’t have it, Liz, I have to send it back down to you
I’m afraid
LC: Okay, that’s okay
But the basics of it is
Clearly this is a fascinating story

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