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Flipping to the latest incarnation of Real World – Road Rules challenges, I’m about a dozen minutes late to the opening. A chick with her face painted is telling another broad, Shauvon, that her breasts are weighing the team down. Ten minutes in. Have they even had a challenge?!
Clearly, I rewind.
In the opening segment, they pick the teams. Which is a twist in itself. When describing their attributes, 2 of the people describe themselves as having worked out specifically in order to train themselves for these challenges. Another, described himself as a “sleeper”, a term often associated with sports.
And this is why Bill Simmons and Dave Jacoby from ESPN have banged the drum to have these Challenges replace the NHL as our fourth major sport.
Not with me? You should be.
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Sometimes Trump has easy decisions to make on The Apprentice. This week was one of those weeks. However, Trump, always susceptible to the group-think mentality as well as rudeness and general yelling, deciding to not make this one play so easy.
The task this week: Viral video for a Popcorn. Popcorn, Indiana or something, it was called. I don’t know, never heard of the brand.
I only really know two criteria for viral videos…one, that they are funny and make you want to show to someone else and two, that THEY ARE FUCKING FUNNY.
Neither of these videos fit any criteria that should be associated with viral video other than the video word.
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Trump is back for another round of Celebrity Appre…wait, REGULAR Apprentice! He’s two weeks in and allegedly the theme is people down on their luck in this economy.
I can tell that’s the theme one of two ways: 1. Trump constantly telling me this so there is no way I can’t not know, but also 2. One of the tasks was selling ice cream BARS in a park. Which, I’m pretty sure was a microcosm for the whole financial struggle. Hey, look at how we make decisions on who to manage our companies, we’re deciding big business based on how they sell ice cream!
Unbelievably horrible task, at least they’re stepping it up tonight by making the folks manage like a Dog Spa or Dog Daycare Center.
One other way you can also tell the economy is fucked from this show: Two people are literally fighting over who gets to be a receptionist. In a show to select who will be the next top dog of a Trump endeavor or whatever the prize is…yeah, seriously. How about saving your battles for when you, oh, I don’t have to make ACTUAL DECISIONS?
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As a fan of Arrested Development, of course I’m watching FOXs new G.O.B. pseudo spin-off Running Wilde. Going in, expectations were low. I worked myself into the proper, damn, I loved Arrested, love me some G.O.B., no way they pull this off, right? state of mind.
The pilot was last week, episode two aired last night. The first was a bit awkward in points, but, last night it felt comfortable watching. The joke I reference in the title of this post, I think went a good way in settling things in. The joke was a response to Keri Russell’s character saying she was unable to figure out how to work the dish washer.
Due to budget cuts, Alabama was forced to skimipify their cheerleader outfits.
Capping off College Football’s season opening slate is the marquee matchup of #5 Alabama and #7 Virginia Tech. Not gonna throw out a prediction on score or winner, but will predict this: Alabama struggles with a passing offense and Virginia Tech blocks a kick.
Also tonight sees #20 Brigham Young take on #3 Oklahoma. Sam Bradford will throw for tons of touchdowns for Oklahoma, so hopefully whoever is quarterbackin’ for BYU channels a little Ty Detmer (Yes, Ty, fuck Steve Young, I said it) and can turn this one into an entertaining shootout.
And, if you still want more college football, at like 11pm Washington and LSU play in what could be a sleeper of an entertaining game. LSU comes in thought to be the much better team, but, Washington is still a major conference team hosting a team from an entirely different part of the country, which tends to keep games closer than they should be.
Lucky for us, cheerleaders suck at hiding.
Not sure I would have known that if not for college football, really. I mean, I’m sure at one point in my life, I knew the shit out of that, but, past like the 5th grade, that information stops becoming relevant. And then, with college football, it becomes relevant again. Because Juice Williams and Arrellious Benn of the Fighting Illini take on Missouri from St. Louis in one of the marquee mid-afternoon games.
Also on tap?
Most of the country will get to see #13 Georgia play #9 Oklahoma State in what should be a really good game. Since I reside in the Murder Mitten, hey there’s University of Michigan coach Rich Rodriguez crying again…Please, let Western Michigan win to make up for me having to watch that game.
Nevada and Notre Dame play as well, and there’s always a chance Notre Dame loses with Charlie Weis as head coach, so that could be fun.