I guess she considers herself Madonna’s understudy.  Maybe it’s an Australian thing but I only know one song of hers and it’s the horrible, terrible, very bad, no good, shitty Loco-Motion.  She had breast cancer and seeks to be a mini-Liza to the gay community.  She likes botox but not too too much so far.  I ended up grabbing nearly 2800 pictures of her and that’s quite a few.  This is literally all I know about her.  So let’s have a fun poll after you finish looking at 2800 pictures.  Don’t rush.  I’ll wait.

Kylie Minogue’s Big Fat Hugemongous Album

I spent about thirty minutes trying to learn about this chick, Leila. I got distracted by this forum for curly hair and I am now more interested in the trials women with super crazy curly hair have.  There’s a whole language to it and no glossary is provided.  They discuss curl sizes like they’re bra sizes, 3b and 3c and so on.  I was trying to sort it out via context and then I decided it really wasn’t important I understand.  I did see a post from some lady who washes her hair once a month.  That was about when I scrapped my sociological research into the private world and lingo of the corkscrewed and ringleted ladies.

Leila played a non-porn lesbian role and was able to tolerate (or not laugh directly in his face while cameras were rolling) Vin Diesel for the duration of an entire movie.  Maxim selected her for #65 for the Hot 100 in 2005 and she was also Miss California in 1997.  I could be wrong, but I don’t think the pageant route really gets girls much of anywhere.  The gorgeous one who got kicked out for being nakedy and nasty and then sang for Disney (I think?) and Ugly Betty’ed  her way back to public consciousness and all that is the only one I can think of who ever did anything famousy.  The moral of my story:  Leila needs to step up her controversy game.  She’s not going to get where she wants to go with nothing more than some soft core girl on girl in straight to video.

You can check her and her supremely curly locks in her album!

Leila Arcieri

Seriously Cougar-ed and Collagen-ed

I kind of feel like Lisa Rinna should have gotten the role in Cougartown.  They wouldn’t even have to bother much with scripts; I think she could carry a reality show based on this same fictional premise.  I am not entirely sure why Lisa Rinna is famous.  I think she did the dancing show which makes perfect sense.  Those costumes show off her promised land quite well and, the Fug Girls have led me to believe, Lisa Rinna lives to flaunt her V.  I don’t watch soaps nor did I watch Melrose Place so, for me, she is famous for dressing too young and too slutty to show off her admittedly fabulous (especially for her age) body.

Her lips are kind of a topic unto themselves.   I don’t understand why these Hollywood people don’t look around and think, “Oh my.  Nikki Cox ruined her beautiful face.  This should serve as a cautionary tale.”  But no.  They go shove crap in their lips.  I don’t get it.

Lisa Rinna Tongue
Lisa Rinna

I’m kinda sorta sick but not really and there’s not shit on TV so I’m in the tub listening to 30 Rock reruns from Season 3 and I’ve decided it is the day of the run on sentence and you will like it once I get around to talking about Jane Krakowski and how I sort of ignore her contributions to 30 Rock because blondes just don’t do much for me.  That said, she plays the role very well.  She was pretty much awesome on Ally McBeal too.  I don’t actually know that because I don’t remember that show well except that Fish and the Biscuit cracked me up and I wanted to hit Ally with a skillet most of the time but I know I liked the show and I don’t remember hating Karakowski on it but oh yeah, I wanted Portia de Rossi to be on screen every second and Lucy Liu too.  Jenna Maroney is a bit too old to be 100% believable but, other than that, Jane Krakowski plays her to perfection.  So there you have it.   Oh.  And I laugh out loud every time Tracy Jordan talks to or about Dr. Spaceman.  Thank you for existing, Tina Fey and Netflix.  My not-sick-but-I-have-a-temperature-and-body-aches night is much more pleasant because of you.  Oh and anyone reading this crazy ramble, I’m sorry you chose to pop by during run-on sentence night.  Click below to see a pile of Jane Krakowski pictures for your reward.

Jane Krakowski

I love this pic because it looks like there is a big saw about to chop her up but it is really the curtains scaring the shit out of her.

Yup, I said it.  30 Rock is the best thing on network TV.  Keep your Grey’s Anatomy and Brothers & Sisters pathos; I want Tina Fey’s brand of super warped humor.  She brings out the best of every character on the show and the actors always deliver and the situations are out of control bizarre and I laugh my ass off every minute.  Alec Baldwin could not be any more perfect.  And it is alllll thanks to one Miss Tina Fey.  She’s got that brainy librarian sexy going on and she’s so wry and self-deprecating, who wouldn’t want to do her?  I can hear Tracy Jordan’s voice right now (in my head not on TV you weirdo) all shouty and lispy, “I LOVE YOU, LIZ LEMON!”

Liz Lemon Tina Fey

Anna Torv is Rupert Murdoch’s niece and I think that has  been of tremendous benefit to her career.  How could it not?  I don’t see how else some random low-rent Australian Kate Hudson from a BBC miniseries was cast in the Fox show, Fringe.  I don’t watch…anything…on Fox so I know nothing and then I tried researching this chick and all I’ve got is Murdoch is her uncle and she looks like the poor man’s Kate Hudson.  In light of this dearth of information, I have fabricated some facts that may be true about her.  Her hair extensions are made from palomino manes, she uses the fat from infants’ thighs to plump her sad, thin lips (she claims she is fighting childhood obesity doing this!) and uses toilet bowl cleaner as weight control.  She is such a nobody, I could only grab 78 pix of her but they are there for you to peruse!

Anna Torv