So if you look at the pics below you can see an amazing quirk of nature.  Albino animals are very rare (except among polar bears, where studies are inconclusive) and this moose is very striking.  He probably got made fun of in high school, but now that he is big he can strut around all cool and tell his buddies how easy it is for him to hide in the winter.  And that’s great.  But there is another side to the story – a tragic one.

Someone at some point scared the bejesus out of that moose.

I know it isn't transmitted from animal to human. The pic is funny as hell, though, so shut up.

Three years ago, it was the Chinese calender year of the cow  and we had Mad Cow disease.

Two years ago, it was the Chinese calender year of the bird and we had Avian flu.

This year, it is the Chinese calender year of the pig and we have Swine flu.

Next year is the year of the cock…anybody else worried?

So you see that we post email forwards on here.  For some reason, they are among the most talked about things that we post.  I guess it’s because if enough grandmothers and what have you  decide to forward them it is sort of a built in vetting process?  In fact, maybe the value of an email can be judged by the number of RE:’s and FWD:’s in the subject line?  That said, sometimes when I get them they make me mad.  Like this one.

Northern Lights Over Teepees – These are spectacular and the teepees are so pretty in the dark

Oh just die.  The pic above is the only one I am showing from the 473 that came in the email.  I don’t care about the inspiring whatsis or the example of god’s power or whatever.  I want to know what’s happening in the tee pees.  I think the tee pee on the left is used for smelting iron and the tee pee on the right contains a woman giving birth to a new universe.

Actually, I am not sure what this email was supposed to get me to feel.  It’s not all that cute.  It doesn’t have any jokes about illegal aliens or Nancy Pelosi.  It isn’t filled with pics of people getting hit in the face with soccer balls and…hurled babies.  It’s just: Hey, look at these cool pictures.  Well I won’t.  Like I said.  Screw you, email.  You aren’t the boss of me.

PS: I do the post tags based on Yahoo tags.  They have one for ‘whatsis’ and another one for ‘hey look’.  No wonder people hate Yahoo.  Tee Pee living jerks.

You know you’re a redneck when:
1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
5. You think “The Nutcracker” is a vice on the work bench.
6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don’t want it.
8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
12. Your grandmother has “ammo” on her Christmas list.
13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
14. You’ve been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
15. You go to the stock car races and don’t need a program.
16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
18. Your house doesn’t have curtains, but your truck does.
19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-room’s so clean ?
20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say “Cool Whip” on the side.
24. The biggest city you’ve ever been to is Wal-Mart.
25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV
26. You’ve used your ironing board as a buffet table.
27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.
28. You’ve used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.

I am passing this on to you because it has worked wonders for me. In today’s hectic world, we could all use a little calm.  By following the simple advice I read in an article, I have finally found inner peace.  The article said, “The way to achive inner peace is to finish all the things you’ve started.”  So I looked around the house to see all the things I had started and not finished and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of red wine, a bottle of white wine, the Bailey’s, Kahula, Bacardi, Wild Turkey, Prozac, some valium, a cheesecake and a box of chocolates.  You have no idea how fucking good I feel now, passed out in some bus station!

Rick was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him, “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!”

The next morning, Rick got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and, sure enough, there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her
robe and ran out to the driveway and brought the box back in the house.  She opened it and found a brand-new bathroom scale.

Rick has been missing since Friday.