You ever know someone who makes every party they are at more fun? They know lots of interesting things to keep the conversation flowing. They make everyone laugh. Then they get too drunk and turn a little mean, but in a sexy way? That's this website.
Can’t say I’ve ever once even considered watching How I Met your Mother. Heard it’s good, just, for some reason the idea of a comedy and CBS isn’t something that computes with me.
Hell, all of CBS pretty much does not compute with me. Other than Big Brother, I don’t think there is a single CBS show I watch consistently.
I’m not saying this is a wise decision, but I flipped to the network once and Jay Mohr had a sitcom on there running. Really, you give Jay Mohr a sitcom and expect me to flip back there for other shows? I’m not saying it’s impossible to happen, but you’ve just made it a huge uphill battle.
Huh? I drive what? Where? Seriously? I do that? Bitchin'
That chick drives truck in Alaska. I have to admit, I love Ice Road Truckers. It’s no Deadliest Catch, but it is pretty good. The premise is simple: people in the Arctic (oil rigs, Santa) need shit. The only way to get it there is on these scary ass roads. And the people who drive the trucks on those roads make a lot of loot cause the roads are made of ice and they will inevitably crash.
After two seasons of stupid Canada, now we are in Alaska, and one of the truckers is Lisa Kelly. I guess the fact that the is a little skinny chick makes her compelling, but I think they could really spice things up if they had her be some sort of trampy ice siren. Like, she hangs out at the yard and asks guys all day if she can help them ‘deliver their load’ or…’shift their gears’. I can’t think of any other dirty truck things, though so maybe she should just drive.
Also – the Dalton Highway was built so that the trucks could bring stuff to Prudhoe Bay so we could get oil. And for 30 years, people have been careening off cliffs and shit to bring them new drills and creamed corn and Hustler magazines. So why don’t they use some of the stimulus money to build a train? How bad ass would that be? They could carry lots of shit that is too dangerous for the trucks, and they could have a car full of sissy protestors, too. I love trains. Damn, I wish I could have thought of more dirty truck talk. “Let me back that in for you?” “That sure is a big rig you got there”? “I’ll have sex with you in your truck”?
Meh – watch the video. NO! Wait! “I’ll wear glasses like Governor Palin”? Huh? Huh?
Don’t know how much you all care about politics (I don’t think the Gallery has helped the Iraninas much) but you may like Washington professionals who act like fucked up dummies just like we do. The pic to the left is Ana Marie Cox and Rachel Maddow. Maddow you know as the handsome young MSNBC liberal fellow lady. Cox (heh) is the firecrotch who shows up as a talking head on lots of cable shows and may have one of the most entertaining Twitter pages ever.
She was at #nerdprom which is what they were calling he Radio and TV something something dinner last night in Washington where the Prez told some jokes. But what I find fascinating is how Cox (heh) does not have her own show yet. One of her tweets from the dinner was this:
made it to the MS after party! With its weird passkey/cockring invite and everything!http://twitpic.com/7v42z
How bad ass is that? You almost never hear newscasters talk publicly about cockrings. Except for Dan Rather, but that guy’s a mess. So, if you don’t feel that twinge of loserdom that comes with following someone who doesn’t follow back, then follow Cox. And hope she gets her own show. And watch Obama and the guy from the Apple Commercials (the PC guy, not the other fuck) tell some jokes below. And someone get me Ana Marie Cox’s phone number. And did Bush ever go to this dinner? I bet he was funny. He was the funniest President we ever had. And I don’t mean in the political rage dipshit way. I mean he was a funny guy. Anyway, watch this shit and hook me up with Ana Marie. Unless she’s a lesbian. Then forget it. I can’t deal with that again.
Artie Lange was booked on the first episode of Joe Buck Live Monday night. He got things rolling by following up a Buck comment about TMZ with, “what’s your second favorite website? SuckingCock.Com?” Buck then seemed to fight his way through the rest of the segment and tossed in a couple of weak barbs of his own.
Joe Buck, if you aren’t familiar with him is, simply put, a whiny, pretentious, jackass of a sports announcer, who FOX unfortunately loves. Which means we get Joe Buck for every big game FOX does. Hello ruining of the World Series. Hello showing no emotion when David Tyree makes one of the sickest catches in Super Bowl history. Hello being a jackass when Randy Moss does the fake crowd mooning pose (yes, Buck was the dude who went crazy over that).
Anyway, Lange basically spent 7 minutes on HBO and then 7 minutes on the online post show skewering Buck. The best moment came when he referred to Buck as a “regular Bob Costas”, since Buck tries way too damn hard to be Costas and fails miserably.
Afterward, the HBO folks hoped having Brett Favre on the show would be the news from this show. Ha. Not a chance. No one gives a damn about Brett Favre anymore, but Buck getting ripped hard? Most sports fans have been waiting patiently for that.
Artie bordered on bad taste and was mean spirited, according to HBO, what the hell did they expect?
Last week I mocked a bit of that Digital Transition. Here’s something you might be interested in: today I am mocking myself. Because, boy, was I wrong about this Digital Transition.
Why? Because we straight up kicked this things ass. Last night Google News showed me this headline:
US declares victory as DTV transition goes rather smoothly
Ars Technica – 3 hours ago
I am not sure if Ars Technica is a terrorist group or like, some dudes who were on America’s Got Talent. I didn’t click the link because neither of those possibilities sounded like much fun.
But, the bottomline is that we WON. DTV tried to come in our house, talk all that noise and what happened? We told DTV we weren’t putting up with his shit and he can cook us a dinner before we kick him out of our house. DTV cooked us that dinner. Was a little too dry with the chicken, but that’s alright, he made up for it with some of the best lemonade that I have ever dropped on my tongue. Then he got the hell out. Because we whipped his ass.
Don’t fuck with USA, DTV. Didn’t see that coming, son, but now you know.
I like how the dude with the converter box is flexing and the dude holding the TV is only looking lame
Apparently this Digital TV switch is going to freak some people out tomorrow. TOMORROW. They constantly talk about this digital switch and at one point I googled the word “analog” and realized that like no one is going to be affected by this thing.
However, if you’re currently OLD and have parents still alive, you I guess are part of the tiny minority of this country that might get a phone call tomorrow that will have some sort of comedy.
Seriously, Google News is telling me MILLIONS are not ready for this. I am putting up this thread because these folks need to be mocked in the comments. I don’t ask for much, but can you help me out with that?
Term and Condition
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Acadia
Maitland
Joelle
vange
vettech
Hotspur
loolpooq
johnny rocks
jethro
fragileheart
…and surprisingly, 
