I’m kinda sorta sick but not really and there’s not shit on TV so I’m in the tub listening to 30 Rock reruns from Season 3 and I’ve decided it is the day of the run on sentence and you will like it once I get around to talking about Jane Krakowski and how I sort of ignore her contributions to 30 Rock because blondes just don’t do much for me.  That said, she plays the role very well.  She was pretty much awesome on Ally McBeal too.  I don’t actually know that because I don’t remember that show well except that Fish and the Biscuit cracked me up and I wanted to hit Ally with a skillet most of the time but I know I liked the show and I don’t remember hating Karakowski on it but oh yeah, I wanted Portia de Rossi to be on screen every second and Lucy Liu too.  Jenna Maroney is a bit too old to be 100% believable but, other than that, Jane Krakowski plays her to perfection.  So there you have it.   Oh.  And I laugh out loud every time Tracy Jordan talks to or about Dr. Spaceman.  Thank you for existing, Tina Fey and Netflix.  My not-sick-but-I-have-a-temperature-and-body-aches night is much more pleasant because of you.  Oh and anyone reading this crazy ramble, I’m sorry you chose to pop by during run-on sentence night.  Click below to see a pile of Jane Krakowski pictures for your reward.

Jane Krakowski

I love this pic because it looks like there is a big saw about to chop her up but it is really the curtains scaring the shit out of her.

Yup, I said it.  30 Rock is the best thing on network TV.  Keep your Grey’s Anatomy and Brothers & Sisters pathos; I want Tina Fey’s brand of super warped humor.  She brings out the best of every character on the show and the actors always deliver and the situations are out of control bizarre and I laugh my ass off every minute.  Alec Baldwin could not be any more perfect.  And it is alllll thanks to one Miss Tina Fey.  She’s got that brainy librarian sexy going on and she’s so wry and self-deprecating, who wouldn’t want to do her?  I can hear Tracy Jordan’s voice right now (in my head not on TV you weirdo) all shouty and lispy, “I LOVE YOU, LIZ LEMON!”

Liz Lemon Tina Fey

I don’t usually write about things I see on Top Chef cause I don’t want many people to know I watch Top Chef.  I have eaten in fine dining restaurants before but it is not something I am gonna brag about. It is sort of just for people from New York who don’t want to cook at home and use their oven to store clothes.  That said, I always watch Top Chef because these fuckers take their shit seriously.  At least, they always did, until Natalie Portman showed up and she and Padma Lakshmi turned the whole thing into a dick joke.

Watch the video below starting at 3:50.  Or watch the whole thing.  I don’t care; it’s the same price.  Just check how Padma is so focused on sounding smart about garlic blossoms (for fuck’s sake) that she says something dumb.  Then Natalie Portman, who knows so little about food that she has time to act like a doofus, calls her out on it.  Then it just keeps going until Tom Colicchio talks and ruins it.

Oh, and the challenge was that they chefs thought they were gonna cook steak but ended up having to cook vegetarian cause Natalie is a douche.  Movie after the cut.  Watch it.  It’s worth it.

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Anna Torv is Rupert Murdoch’s niece and I think that has  been of tremendous benefit to her career.  How could it not?  I don’t see how else some random low-rent Australian Kate Hudson from a BBC miniseries was cast in the Fox show, Fringe.  I don’t watch…anything…on Fox so I know nothing and then I tried researching this chick and all I’ve got is Murdoch is her uncle and she looks like the poor man’s Kate Hudson.  In light of this dearth of information, I have fabricated some facts that may be true about her.  Her hair extensions are made from palomino manes, she uses the fat from infants’ thighs to plump her sad, thin lips (she claims she is fighting childhood obesity doing this!) and uses toilet bowl cleaner as weight control.  She is such a nobody, I could only grab 78 pix of her but they are there for you to peruse!

Anna Torv

Actually, I can lie and just did there in the title.  But lots of peoples do or Sofia Vergara wouldn’t be popular enough to be on ABC’s great hope of a sitcom this fall, Modern Family.  It is formulaic and yet still very bent.  There’s enough Sofia in tight, low-cut dresses to appease the horn dogs and Julie Bowen satisfies the snarky girl-next-door contingent.  She was absolutely wonderful in Ed and, while this character bears no resemblance to Carol Vessey, she is still awfully fun.  There really isn’t any eye-candy* for the hetero-ladies and that is about my only complaint about Modern Family.  ABC, cast some hot dudes in this show so I can fully endorse it!  Thank you ever so much.

We have boatloads of pictures of each of these ladies so click and be happy.

Sofia Vergara

Julie Bowen

*I couldn’t find any nude pix of Al Bundy to better prove my point.  I’m really not terribly saddened by this.

When I was a kid, it was a Saturday ritual to watch “The Soupy Sales Show.”  I would sit, glued to the couch and the television, waiting to see what would happen next.  Soupy Sales (Milton Supman) died yesterday at the age of 83.  RIP Soupy Sales – may laughter follow you beyond the grave.