I don’t think enough people appreciate the badassness of Robocop.  So I want to give you a quick list of why you need to watch it NOW.  It is free on Hulu, so you don’t really have an excuse.  It is right down below.  Just watch it!  Still not convinced?  Then consider this:

• The father from That 70’s show is one of the bad guys.  And he swears.  A lot.
• Everyone in the whole fucking movie fucking swears.  A fucking lot.  Fuck.
• Robocop is now some professor and I saw him on the History Channel.
• “I’ll buy that for a dollar.”
• The ED209 is one of the greatest inventions of all time, and I don’t understand why we don’t have them yet.  Where does our stimulus money go?
• How come nobody ever shot him in the chin?

Anyway – just watch it.  It is awesome, and when his hand gets blown off it rules.  Poor Detroit.  It’s so cold in the D.  How the fuck are we posed to keep peace?

Some of you may have heard of Battlestar Galactica (or BSG for those people who hate to say names of shows that have so many syllables).  And even if you have never watched it, you may have noted that it is critically acclaimed and probably brought to the screen the complex issues of the 00’s better than anything else.

But there are only four episodes left.  Four!  So rather than stick all their shit in some closet, they are auctioning it off.  And I mean everything.  Whole ships you can get in (I assume so you can do it in a spaceship).  Costumes and uniforms (so you can do it dressed up like someone from a TV show) and even pens, pads of paper, and signs (so you can write down how  seldom you do it).

I am not sure if this is for charity or what, but who cares.  Every show should do this.  I would so buy Padma Lakshmi from Top Chef.  I mean her shirt.  Nope, I mean her.  I guess that won’t happen.  But you can still check out all the stuff you can’t afford below.

Download the Catalog as a PDF (so worth it).

Check out the auction site (it’s pretty confusing).

I have to say that while the whole “man wants sex woman doesn’t” thing is pretty played out, the work involved in this Powerpoint is work looking at.  HOW DID HE FIT IN ALL THOSE SQUARES?

Anyway – here you go.  I hope the ladies who got all bent about the Heather Mills post come back and kick my nads for this one.  I like getting my nads kicked.

I like when people take the time to make PowerPoint presentations and send them to me.  This one is about this crazy ass yacht from a place called Wally Yachts.  The inside is kind of not nearly as cool as the outside, but since the inside of mine will be filled with pirates, I don’t care.  THey can sleep on our gold and those big coils of rope and sacks of hardtack.  Matey.

Also – the next time someone sends me a PowerPoint of a futuristic superboat, PLEASE do not set it to Berlin’s Take My Breath Away.  It sort of wrecks it.

So Holy Crap!  The Oscar’s  Everyone wants to be there.  It’s a big fat deal.  And I am posting from the Oscar’s RIGHT AS WE SPEAK.  Be jealous.  Wonder why I, who know nothing about celbrities, are here while you are home watching Ryan Seacrest.  Well, a big part of it is my general awesomeness, but another is that they are right up the street from me.  But I guess overall it is because they invited me.

The Oscar’s are a pleasant family who invited me over for dinner.  I told them that it was Academy Award night and I would probably be expected to make some kind of fuss about it, but they assurred me that the Harris Teeter chicken was already being rewarmed and that they would not keep me too long.

Mrs. Oscar even told me that I could bring my laptop and do a post from her house.  How cute!  A post from the Oscar’s. So I went over and ate and then Mr. And Mrs. Oscar thought it would be fun to wear what they would have worn had they been at the Awards for real.  She looked stunning.  Mr. Oscar took a lot longer to get ready, and while he did, the wife asked me if, since I was from up North, I had an open mind.  I was non-committal, but waited to see what would happen.  What DID happen was in the pic below.  I am finishing this post and going home.  It  didn’t turn out right at all.  Damn my life is complicated and unrewarding.

Mr. Oscar’s Outfit for the big night.

Someone hold me.  But not you, Brett Oscar.  You go right to Hell.

Taraji P. Nelson is another Oscar nom I have never heard of but man!  She is gorgeous! I find it amazing that an Academy Award-nominated actress as stunning as she doesn’t have her own wiki entry.  I had to go to imdb (a site I loathe!) to learn anything about her.  She was on “Eli Stone” (a show I am ashamed to admit I loved), “Smoking Aces” which I did not enjoy and do not recall her in, a bunch of bit parts on random TV shows I don’t watch like “Boston Legal”, “House, M.D.” and “CSI.”  The funniest part of her resume is “Murder, She Wrote.”  I’m thinking I should start making stuff up when I don’t find anything interesting to write about.  Rumor has it, she once motorboated Angela Lansbury’s big floppy, old lady tits on a dare from the camera guy.  Fiction is looking better and better!

Taraji P. Nelson