You ever know someone who makes every party they are at more fun? They know lots of interesting things to keep the conversation flowing. They make everyone laugh. Then they get too drunk and turn a little mean, but in a sexy way? That's this website.
I saw someone do this same pose in Vogue. I'm a model!
I came across (not literally) these pics of Heidi Montag posing up a storm in the Bahamas and it occurred to me that not only is she not really famous, she is really only one step away from porn. It’s that banner pic that proves it. Go to the Celebrity Pictures section and check out some of the ladies in there and see if you can find a similar pose. I think Isabella Rosselini has a few, as does Natalie Portman. They know what classy, sexy pics are all about.
I am not 100% sure, but I think the ‘kneel on a beach chair and stick your ass in the camera’ pose was really started in 1963 by Audrey Hepburn. Heidi is following in some really important footsteps. So let’s hope that she parlays this exposure into a spread in Maxim, or Hustler. Or maybe we can hope that she finds out that she is the cure for cancer and that her individual atoms will need to be harvested so that people who don’t shove their asses into cameras can live. We all win no matter what!
USA Network is having a James Bond Marathon today, and they started with the George Lazenby one. Or whatever his name is. There have been a bunch of James Bond’s and I think people who are really into it have little slap fights about who was the best one. Sean Connery or Roger Moore or Michael Moore or whoever else played him. I never cared too much. And I never wondered if Captain Kirk was better or worse than Captain Picard, either. I guess I am not learned enough to make an educated decision. I do know that Arnold was way better than Al on Happy Days. Wayyy better. But we are talking about James Bond – so here is a video of Eddie Izzard talking about James Bond. I will make you fuckers love Eddie Izzard if it’s the last thing I do!
I don’t know who this will surprise. I mean, if I could get a few billion in exchange for letting some dude who will be dead soon out of jail, I would so do it. But I would have also had the plane blown up as soon as it got over Libya and then insisted it was a coincidence. Then I would have spent all my delicious money.
Here’s the opening quote of the story, guaranteed to tug at your heartstrings:
Some knew her, others only knew of her. But they will never forget the day 18 years ago when the blonde, blue-eyed 11-year-old was snatched in broad daylight on her way to a bus stop.
So yeah….this girl. Then that model who got stuffed in the suitcase. That chick down in Aruba or whatever it was, Natalie Holloway? It sucks that all these white girls are getting kidnapped and murdered. This must be a great time to be black or Asian or Latino or something other that white. Cause I have been watching the news all day, and apparently nobody who isn’t white ever gets kidnapped or murdered. Except Michael Jackson, and that’s iffy.
I don’t usually think about Los Angeles very much unless it involves the Nakatomi Building and John McLean battling Professor Snape. But this story caught my eye because apparently:
Mandatory evacuations were in effect for neighborhoods in Altadena, Glendale, Pasadena, La Crescenta and Big Tujunga Canyon.
Do all of those things count as Los Angeles? I have actually heard of Glendale and Pasadena, but I thought they were their own towns? Do people have to write Big Tujunga Canyon on their envelopes as their return address? Does anyone really care very much if rich people in Los Angeles get their houses burned down? I don’t think so. I remember the year of hurricane Katrina, later on that year there was hurricane Wilma. I lived in Boca Raton, FL at the time and that hurricane fucked us all up. No power or water, my car got flattened and blah blah. But does anyone care when non poor people get disastered? Nope. Talking to some rich fuck in Palm Beach who tearfully looks over the ruins of his estate and says in a choked voice: “I guess I will have to take my helicopter to my place on the Outer Banks” does not foster ratings.
What’s the last hurricane in Florida you remember hearing about? Andrew, right? Why? Cause it wiped out poor people. Rich people can’t get a break. Except that they’re rich, I guess. I don’t know.
Well, things have been pretty slow this week. Seems like most of the gallery staff was busy making arrangements and complex legal deals concerning the death of Ted Kennedy. But now that the exploitation mourning is pretty much over, I am sure some of the staff will come back.
Maybe.
Or maybe they won’t. I don’t know. I remember I kept thinking my babysitter would come back that time she let me be a lookout for her while she ’scored some dope’. She never did, but the policeman that showed up much much later gave me a blanket and told me not to look behind me. But I digress. The point of all of this is that I am thinking you will probably have more crap to read soon, as now that my wisdom tooth is gone I have more room in my head for thinkings!
Or, if not thinking of things, at least finding mildly amusing things on YouTube and posting them for your consideration. What do you want from me? Also. If you see any of the staff, give them a blanket and tell them not to look behind them.
Doctors have concluded that if you find the man in the coffee beans in three seconds, the right half of your brain is better developed than that of most people. If you find the man between three seconds and one minute, the right half of the brain is developed normally. If you find the man between one minute and three minutes, then the right half of your brain is functioning slowly and you need to eat more protein. If you have not found the man after three minutes, the advice is to look for more of this type of exercise to make that part of the brain stronger!!!
And, yes, the man is really there!!!
Term and Condition
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