That's Acadia when he was little. He grew but still sucks his thumb. Don't judge!

So here we are:  the end of October and all 31 Scary Things videos are published.  By the way, why isn’t October the eighth month?  That bothers me greatly.  Anyhoodle, you have now seen all 31 but you are only voting on the last eleven.  I think I will make one final poll with the three winners of the previous polls duking it out.  So make your vote count.  But first, let’s review the last videos so they are fresh in your mind.

• Creepy Dolls
• Helplessness
• Conspiracies
• Falling
• Hotels
• Zombies
• The Dark
• Satan
• Serial Killers
• Pain
• Death

I think I have to vote for Hotels as being the scariest of this bunch.  I stayed at this “historic” hotel on Michigan Avenue in Chicago once and the floor above the one I was staying was rented out to a psychiatric facility.  It was a bit…noisy.  And the wallpaper was different on every wall.

Well, it is getting closer to dark, and soon you will have to either get your kids ready to go out trick or treating, or get ready to hand out candy to trick or treating kids, or getting your van ready to snatch kids or doing nothing cause your driveway is too fucking long for kids to walk up.  Whatever is it, the best thing you can do to get ready is click these links and watch these videos.  You can trust me.  I’m like a doctor.  A dirty, devil doctor.  So get clicking!

• Jennifer Hudock – if you don’t know her, go check out her site (she is a writer and she has audio versions of her stories, so she is a reader, too).  And just so you know – next year she is gonna get married in a real live zombie wedding to…
• James Melzer – Published horror writer and audio bookmaker.  The nuptials between Jenny and himself will be filled with gory goodness.
• Epix HD – People are claiming it is Hulu for movies.  Head over there and sign up for an invite.  Now, if it works the way it did for me, you will get an email saying to check back on Thursday.  But then a while later you will get a weekend preview invite.  I am watching Cloverfield right now, and they have Pet Sematary, which is bad ass.
• I just dug the scarecrow pic this dude took.

Videos after the cut.

(more…)

Everything today will be Halloweeny.  So here’s a song I hope you all appreciate.  The Mariner’s Revenge Song by the Decemberists.  And depending on what kind of person you are, I have more than one version.  If you like live performances, check the one out on the bottom.  But if you’re like me, you want the studio version.  So click the top one.  The fact that the play those kids put on is awesome is irrelevant.  Just listen to the damn song.

Find him.  Bind him. Tie him to a pole and break his fingers to splinters.  Drag him to a hole until he wakes up naked clawing at the ceiling of his grave.

Ahhh – that’s good revenge.

I love this pic because it looks like there is a big saw about to chop her up but it is really the curtains scaring the shit out of her.

Yup, I said it.  30 Rock is the best thing on network TV.  Keep your Grey’s Anatomy and Brothers & Sisters pathos; I want Tina Fey’s brand of super warped humor.  She brings out the best of every character on the show and the actors always deliver and the situations are out of control bizarre and I laugh my ass off every minute.  Alec Baldwin could not be any more perfect.  And it is alllll thanks to one Miss Tina Fey.  She’s got that brainy librarian sexy going on and she’s so wry and self-deprecating, who wouldn’t want to do her?  I can hear Tracy Jordan’s voice right now (in my head not on TV you weirdo) all shouty and lispy, “I LOVE YOU, LIZ LEMON!”

Liz Lemon Tina Fey