So if you look at the pics below you can see an amazing quirk of nature.  Albino animals are very rare (except among polar bears, where studies are inconclusive) and this moose is very striking.  He probably got made fun of in high school, but now that he is big he can strut around all cool and tell his buddies how easy it is for him to hide in the winter.  And that’s great.  But there is another side to the story – a tragic one.

Someone at some point scared the bejesus out of that moose.

Johnny Depp was awarded Sexiest Man Alive for the second time by People magazine.  If I were in charge, he would have been named that every year for the last…twenty?  And for the next twenty, natch.  I predict he,  Robert Downey, Jr. and Leonardo DiCaprio will be remembered as this generation’s greatest actors.  Of that group of impressive thespians (they really do become the character!), only dear darling Johnny is beautiful, strong, delicate, weird and brilliant.  Not many guys can wear eyeliner and facial hair* and still come off manly as hell.  His conversational range, his grasp of topics and his insight and comprehension leave me breathless.  He hangs out with people who can keep up with him (Hunter S. Thompson for one shining example) and doesn’t give the rest of the Hollywood crap a second thought.  His priorities are so solidly in the proper place.

Gaze upon the many faces of Senor Depp

One of the funniest things I ever saw on Letterman was Depp explaining what it is like to spend time with his then-two-year-old.  Basically, he said it was like hanging out with a tiny little drunk.  Toddlers fall down randomly, laugh and cry for no reason, wet themselves and blurt out bizarre shit.

I’m not much of a movie lover but I see everything this man does.   Once Upon a Time in Mexico was pretty underrated.   The eye gouging thing still fucking haunts me, at the end when Eva Mendes kisses him and he tricks her with a fake arm and shoots her while the blood is dripping down his face behind his sunglasses.  I think this may be the only Antonio Banderas movie I’ve ever seen.  But that twirling to avoid the bullet and shooting the dude’s kneecaps from behind his back is really very awesome.  Ruben Blades is pretty hot, too, come to think of it.  Oh fuck it, just watch the last eight minutes or so for yourself.

Sometimes, youtube is incredible.  There’s another vid after the jump for the true fans.  I mean…whoa.

*I realize facial hair is, by definition, manly.  I don’t care for it in general and the sentence just worked and I’m sick and oh deal with it!

(more…)

I guess she considers herself Madonna’s understudy.  Maybe it’s an Australian thing but I only know one song of hers and it’s the horrible, terrible, very bad, no good, shitty Loco-Motion.  She had breast cancer and seeks to be a mini-Liza to the gay community.  She likes botox but not too too much so far.  I ended up grabbing nearly 2800 pictures of her and that’s quite a few.  This is literally all I know about her.  So let’s have a fun poll after you finish looking at 2800 pictures.  Don’t rush.  I’ll wait.

Kylie Minogue’s Big Fat Hugemongous Album

I watch Biggest Loser.  Well, I guess I should say I fast forward Biggest Loser.  Every episode is the same, so you can tell when to Fast Forward.  Goes like this:

• Skip the worst theme song in TV history.  “What have you done today blah blah…” It sucks.  –>
• Watch the weekly twist.  Two people get eliminated…  One person gets set on fire… All the contestants have to do it…
• Watch the Challenge
• Skip the infomercials and anything where the trainers are in the house.  They are just gonna talk about gum or plastic bags. –>
• Skip the last chance workout.  If I wanna see people sweat I will watch porn or try to get something out of the back shelf of my closet. –>
• Skip the inevitable “Person figures out why they gained the weight and blah blah blah”.  Not everything needs to be blamed on your parents.  Cept for me.  Screw you, dad.  –>
• Watch the weigh in (see my real question below) but skip the annoying fucking beeps.
• Don’t watch the deliberation. –>
• Don’t watch them all blubber and cry at the voting –>
• DO see how skinny the person who got kicked out got!

So now that I told you how to watch the show, help me out.  Why do they have the guys take off their shirts and the women wear those tank tops when they are the MOST FAT?  Like, in the very beginning, when the contestants are as big as they are gonna get, they are mostly naked.  But as they get smaller, they get to keep their shirts on.  Why is this?  How come they make the girl who weighs 350 pounds wear a sports bra, but after she loses 100 pounds (and weighs 250) they put a shirt on her?

I guess the only thing I an think of is ‘extra skin’?  They have the same amount of skin they had in the beginning.  And mind you, I am not petitioning for the people to have shirts or not have shirts.  I think they should do what they want.  But obviously there is some sort of orchestrated thing going on.  Because they ALL have no shirts, and then shirts.  So what gives?

Answers please.

It's not polite to point

Since most of you don’t like in Britain, you probably are not up on British fashion.  Well, worry no longer.  I am here to keep you up to date on the fashion trends of our little floating friends to the east.  And right now, it’s pointy bras!  According to some British bra scientist:

‘Conical bras have 48 technological components to help create that 1950s silhouette.’

This is why women need to stop complaining that they have it tougher than men.  You have 48 technical components.  What do guys have?  Some socks stuffed into their pants?  That spray-on hair?  All you British women with your pointy boobs should be helping your soccer hooligan men out by poking them with your pointy boobs.  They’ll appreciate it, and it might keep them from trying to burn you at the stake for being a witch.  Or it may make them more likely.  I’m no sociologist of England.