Neil Patrick Harris, about to kill a bear

Can’t say I’ve ever once even considered watching How I Met your Mother. Heard it’s good, just, for some reason the idea of a comedy and CBS isn’t something that computes with me.

Hell, all of CBS pretty much does not compute with me. Other than Big Brother, I don’t think there is a single CBS show I watch consistently.

I’m not saying this is a wise decision, but I flipped to the network once and Jay Mohr had a sitcom on there running. Really, you give Jay Mohr a sitcom and expect me to flip back there for other shows? I’m not saying it’s impossible to happen, but you’ve just made it a huge uphill battle.

So, yeah. Emmys. Neil Patrick Harris will be hosting them whenever they are, announcement next week. All you need to know about the worthlessness of the Emmys is that The Wire never won an Emmy.

Here they are celebrating a goal. Later, at dinner, shit would be kept real, however.

Well, or maybe not like Beckham. Because, according to this book that was excerpted in Sports Illustrated this week, Beckham isn’t quick to pick up the tab and that kind of irked his broke-ass MLS teammates.

Here’s an ESPN summary of the article, but they focus on Landon Donovan calling out Beckham for being a bad teammate and not Donovan lines like:

“He’d better be picking up meals too,” the excerpt quotes Landon Donovan.

I don’t so much care about the interaction on the field, because it’s MLS and not quite real soccer yet, so I mainly just want to hear more stories about MLS players whining about Beckham inviting them to a steak dinner and then keeping his millions in his pocket.

That stuff has great potential. I mean, with my eyes, I can see that the team is terrible, keep this backstage, who is paying for what meals drama coming. Maybe Beckham and Donovan went out for beers and Beckham only tipped like 15% and Donovan called him out on it. It could be a great sitcom to help promote MLS.

David Beckham

VERNON, N.J. — – A northwestern New Jersey man says he was mugged in his driveway by a sandwich-craving bear.

Henry Rouwendal says he was packing his car last Friday when he was hit from behind and knocked to the ground. He says the culprit was a black bear who took his Italian sandwich.

Rouwendal says he kicked the bear in the snout and throat.

Here’s something I would not do: kick the bear that just jacked me of my sandwich. It’s not the hugest list in the world, because, really, I don’t have sandwiches stolen from me all that often, but a black bear makes the cut. You want that sandwich man? Yeah, sure, you know, next time hit me up when I’m in the kitchen, I’ll put a little extra salami on there.

Best part? Bear knocked the lettuce, tomato, and onions off of the sandwich before eating the damn thing.

She's aiming for that Jack Handy expression....

Last month’s cover was better but you could shroud that man in pig shit and I’d still lick him head to toe.  June’s VF kept me entertained for most of the flight to Jamaica; the article about the Acropolis Museum was fascinating and shame on those Brits!  That all said, this cover is waaay funnier.  “Jessica Simpson Pulls off the ‘Mom Jeans’ and Fights Back!”  That is the best awfulest headline I have read in a long time.

Say what you will about Graydon Carter, the man puts together one hell of a magazine.  But I can’t forgive him for approving that headline.  It’s really more People than VF.

Jessica Simpson

Jessica Simpson Tongue

Screw Six Flags, I’m going to go tease this kid till he puts  a loop in.

Sometimes I wish sci-fi was right about the future.

I know a few people with this.

MORE LEGOS!

I really like paper toys, and have been known to spend hours on 4chan’s paper arts and origami forum. It’s the one without the cp and dickheads.