I know people have a lot to say about China and how we need to be afraid of them. “Ohhh, the Chinese will take over the world” I they say. Well not anymore! Now we need to be worried about India. And before you try to tell some “political” this or “sensible” that, just hush. For one thing, look at the banner pic. That guy has a super-eye to make up for his other jacked up eye. And the video after the jump will prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that even if we wanted to, we could not stop India from conquering us if they feel like it. All of our light bulbs, sledge hammers, cars, nails, pick axes, motorcycles and “American grit” will not stop them.
They are the Indestructible Warriors of Goja, and we can only hope that they don’t notice us.
Today I saw a picture on Facebook of one of my friends making that duck face. She looked pretty stupid, and I told her as much. It gave me an idea for today’s post, though. I would make fun of people who duck face! Since I didn’t want to use my friend as the example pic, I did a quick Google image search for “duck face fail”. The results I got back were so spectacularly disgusting that I quickly closed the tab and decided to change gears.
I opened the folder I have of pictures that I’d like to use but don’t have much to say about and quickly just picked something out. So, today, you get a picture of a statue. I’m not sure what the two statue dudes are doing, though. My first guess was that they are playing butt tag. What do you think?
I like it when I get emails that are all scary. Speaking in the first person as a criminal or a Wall Street fat cat or Hitler is extra horrifying. So get ready for a whole bunch of terror. Burglar style!
THIRTEEN THINGS YOUR BURGLAR WON’T TELL YOU:
(Sources: Convicted burglars in North Carolina , Oregon , California , and Kentucky ; security consultant Chris McGoey, who runs “Crimedoctor.com” and Richard T. Wright, a criminology professor at the University of Missouri-St. Louis, who interviewed 105 burglars for his book Burglars on the Job.)
(particularly interesting is the part about the wasp spray…)
So we know what we are about round here. We aren’t really complex. We have a few things we do pretty well. One of them is make fun of celebrities ans LeAnn Rimes (Ol’ Squinty) is always a good target. But you may not all know just how many Celebrity Pics we have and how we categorize them and why the pic after the jump fits like, all of them. Forget the fact that Ms. Rimes looks like a Sleestack and is so skinny if you hugged her it would be like hugging a bag full of leaves and sticks. She makes up for those shortcomings by seeming pretty trampy.
As for the pic? Well, we have the following things that catch our eye around here.
Why? Because the other body parts are too competitive. And tbh we are getting KILLED on the feet. You people are freaks. But after the jump, we start our move, in a pic that has all three! Maybe if you know some celebrities you could get them to post for us. Come on! We’d do it for you! Now go past the jump for hot lizard action!
It’s Tuesday again already? Ugh….ok, ok. *Grabbing first thing I come across*
Here is a video featuring a bunch of movie clips where people are flipping somebody off, set lovingly to that one song. You know the one. That one dude sings it. Yeah, see? I knew you knew what I was talking about.
So my pal Jessica is going to be a HOST at this fancy awards show. It is called the Artists In Music Awards and despite the fact that I didn’t really read their site, I can tell you with 0% conviction that it is an awards show for people who paint guitars. Or they paint guitars on things. Or maybe they paint guitars on other guitars. That’s what I would vote for if I were a judge. Here is the official description:
The Artists In Music Awards was created to honor and recognize the best independent music artists from around the world. Many artists produce music deserving of radio play, but few get to shine in the world of mainstream. We def believe in supporting indie acts.
It’s in Los Angeles on Feb 10th and you can get tickets here. I would go if I didn’t already have important international plans that night. I need to go to the store and live in North Carolina help Milla Jovovich pick out sexy underwear in Switzerland so I can’t go. I know that sucks and you might think to yourself: “why bother if Acadia isn’t there”? Well like I told you, my friend is one of the hosts and if you go you can see her. And she can just email me whenever she wants and if I go to Los Angeles she will let me stay at her house. CAN YOU IMAGINE?
Anyway – she’s my friend, she is famous and fancy and you people should go to the thing. What if she becomes the next Billy Crystal? You don’t wanna miss that!