This is the prize. Click on it for details. Or just buy it you cheap ass.

It’s Thanksgiving and Vange and I would like to thank you for whatever it is you do here.  Whether you are voting for banana or refusing to comment on posts because you know we want you to, you never fail to disappoint.  Except for you.  No, not you. Him.  Anyway, this contest is the easiest one ever!  All you need to do is post your own acrostic for the word Thanksgiving.  It can be a sentence or not.  But the one that Vange and I decide is the funniest will win.  And in case of a tie, we will flip Maitland.  Here is an idea to get you going.  My acrostic is going to be related to Hollywood!  Sort of?  Post yours in the comments – if you win, we will email you.  If you put a fake email, you don’t win dick.

And this is staying up until after Thanksgiving – look down lower if you want to see other stuff.  We scheduled some things, but we are taking the week off.  I will be spending time with my family, and I assume Vange will return to her cave to tell fortunes.  Or something.  Happy Thanksgiving!

Oh – since people asked (seriously) 1: An acrostic is when you make a word out of each letter in another word (see below).  And the contest will be over when I get home next weekend.  So keep thinking.

And you can enter more than once.

Tits
Hooters
Apples
Num Nums
Knockers
Speed Bubps
Gazongas
Illinois Treasure Mounds
Volvo Wagons
Independence Day Picnic Baskets
Norton Anti Viruses
Glorious Sweatermints

Good luck!

This week’s letters for The Long Ass Game are after the jump.

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So if you look at the pics below you can see an amazing quirk of nature.  Albino animals are very rare (except among polar bears, where studies are inconclusive) and this moose is very striking.  He probably got made fun of in high school, but now that he is big he can strut around all cool and tell his buddies how easy it is for him to hide in the winter.  And that’s great.  But there is another side to the story – a tragic one.

Someone at some point scared the bejesus out of that moose.

Johnny Depp was awarded Sexiest Man Alive for the second time by People magazine.  If I were in charge, he would have been named that every year for the last…twenty?  And for the next twenty, natch.  I predict he,  Robert Downey, Jr. and Leonardo DiCaprio will be remembered as this generation’s greatest actors.  Of that group of impressive thespians (they really do become the character!), only dear darling Johnny is beautiful, strong, delicate, weird and brilliant.  Not many guys can wear eyeliner and facial hair* and still come off manly as hell.  His conversational range, his grasp of topics and his insight and comprehension leave me breathless.  He hangs out with people who can keep up with him (Hunter S. Thompson for one shining example) and doesn’t give the rest of the Hollywood crap a second thought.  His priorities are so solidly in the proper place.

Gaze upon the many faces of Senor Depp

One of the funniest things I ever saw on Letterman was Depp explaining what it is like to spend time with his then-two-year-old.  Basically, he said it was like hanging out with a tiny little drunk.  Toddlers fall down randomly, laugh and cry for no reason, wet themselves and blurt out bizarre shit.

I’m not much of a movie lover but I see everything this man does.   Once Upon a Time in Mexico was pretty underrated.   The eye gouging thing still fucking haunts me, at the end when Eva Mendes kisses him and he tricks her with a fake arm and shoots her while the blood is dripping down his face behind his sunglasses.  I think this may be the only Antonio Banderas movie I’ve ever seen.  But that twirling to avoid the bullet and shooting the dude’s kneecaps from behind his back is really very awesome.  Ruben Blades is pretty hot, too, come to think of it.  Oh fuck it, just watch the last eight minutes or so for yourself.

Sometimes, youtube is incredible.  There’s another vid after the jump for the true fans.  I mean…whoa.

*I realize facial hair is, by definition, manly.  I don’t care for it in general and the sentence just worked and I’m sick and oh deal with it!

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I guess she considers herself Madonna’s understudy.  Maybe it’s an Australian thing but I only know one song of hers and it’s the horrible, terrible, very bad, no good, shitty Loco-Motion.  She had breast cancer and seeks to be a mini-Liza to the gay community.  She likes botox but not too too much so far.  I ended up grabbing nearly 2800 pictures of her and that’s quite a few.  This is literally all I know about her.  So let’s have a fun poll after you finish looking at 2800 pictures.  Don’t rush.  I’ll wait.

Kylie Minogue’s Big Fat Hugemongous Album