See those people in that pic? They ring a bell? I bet they do, but I am also going to bet that a lot of you can’t name them. But you might remember the story of the plucky girl with the hurt foot who did a vault for the USA in the Olympics. Or you might think that it is the story of an old guy who hobbled and then kidnapped a young girl. Regardless, “Your Woman” by White Town is a song that is sort of like that.
I have no idea what it is about, and I could not tell you any of the words. But I know the song. It’s like someone played it to me when I was sleeping. Every night. For a year. Even after I read some of the lyrics I didn’t understand it. The guy is saying: “I could never be your woman.” No kidding, dude. You are a dude! Why don’t you just write a song about “there is something that you can cut in half and its cross-section would be a cube“. Makes just as much sense.
If you people tell me you don’t remember it I will call you a no good liar. And we will fight. Video and lyrics after the jump.
I know people have a lot to say about China and how we need to be afraid of them. “Ohhh, the Chinese will take over the world” I they say. Well not anymore! Now we need to be worried about India. And before you try to tell some “political” this or “sensible” that, just hush. For one thing, look at the banner pic. That guy has a super-eye to make up for his other jacked up eye. And the video after the jump will prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that even if we wanted to, we could not stop India from conquering us if they feel like it. All of our light bulbs, sledge hammers, cars, nails, pick axes, motorcycles and “American grit” will not stop them.
They are the Indestructible Warriors of Goja, and we can only hope that they don’t notice us.
Today I saw a picture on Facebook of one of my friends making that duck face. She looked pretty stupid, and I told her as much. It gave me an idea for today’s post, though. I would make fun of people who duck face! Since I didn’t want to use my friend as the example pic, I did a quick Google image search for “duck face fail”. The results I got back were so spectacularly disgusting that I quickly closed the tab and decided to change gears.
I opened the folder I have of pictures that I’d like to use but don’t have much to say about and quickly just picked something out. So, today, you get a picture of a statue. I’m not sure what the two statue dudes are doing, though. My first guess was that they are playing butt tag. What do you think?
I like it when I get emails that are all scary. Speaking in the first person as a criminal or a Wall Street fat cat or Hitler is extra horrifying. So get ready for a whole bunch of terror. Burglar style!
THIRTEEN THINGS YOUR BURGLAR WON’T TELL YOU:
(Sources: Convicted burglars in North Carolina , Oregon , California , and Kentucky ; security consultant Chris McGoey, who runs “Crimedoctor.com” and Richard T. Wright, a criminology professor at the University of Missouri-St. Louis, who interviewed 105 burglars for his book Burglars on the Job.)
(particularly interesting is the part about the wasp spray…)
So we know what we are about round here. We aren’t really complex. We have a few things we do pretty well. One of them is make fun of celebrities ans LeAnn Rimes (Ol’ Squinty) is always a good target. But you may not all know just how many Celebrity Pics we have and how we categorize them and why the pic after the jump fits like, all of them. Forget the fact that Ms. Rimes looks like a Sleestack and is so skinny if you hugged her it would be like hugging a bag full of leaves and sticks. She makes up for those shortcomings by seeming pretty trampy.
As for the pic? Well, we have the following things that catch our eye around here.
Why? Because the other body parts are too competitive. And tbh we are getting KILLED on the feet. You people are freaks. But after the jump, we start our move, in a pic that has all three! Maybe if you know some celebrities you could get them to post for us. Come on! We’d do it for you! Now go past the jump for hot lizard action!
It’s Tuesday again already? Ugh….ok, ok. *Grabbing first thing I come across*
Here is a video featuring a bunch of movie clips where people are flipping somebody off, set lovingly to that one song. You know the one. That one dude sings it. Yeah, see? I knew you knew what I was talking about.