Posts Tagged ‘1950s’
There was once a glorious age of toaster food. Before the Mi-Cro-Wave, humans used only glowing red hot coils to provide themselves with warm snack food. It was a savage age and the Pop Tart ruled the toaster. There are only so many things you can put into a toaster. There was once a pop tart-style breakfast sandwich with bacon in it. Unlike the infamous viral strawberry pop tart blowtorch video, the bacon Pop Tart actually flamed your toaster without having to rig the toaster. Don’t think about your favorite Pop Tart right now. It’s impossible isn’t it, unless you’ve been raised completely outside the great American food lie, your mind just flashed back to a Pavlovian memory of that Pop Tart you crave. They recently brought back grape. Was grape the only kind you ate as a kid?
Super Fun Fact: The average person eats eight pounds of grapes a year. Another super fun fact: even though there’s a big banner on the Pop Tart box shouting NOW BAKED WITH REAL FRUIT, my favorite, the Frosted Strawberry, has only 6% actual fruit and less than 2% of that is strawberry. Asking what “fruit” consists of ruins the whole experience. It’s like asking what’s in a McDonald’s McNugget. I stopped eating McNuggets after I made the mistake of doing that. Glorious tasty industrial food shouldn’t be questioned too much.
This is raw McNuggets
Australians like to point out that they’re healthier than Americans and Canadians because Pop Tart’s sold so poorly there that Kellogs discontinued them in 2005. What a bunch of hypocrites. Have you ever tasted Vegemite? Australians smear this goo on anything edible. Guess what, you anti-Pop Tart Australian types? Vegemite is essentially industrial waste someone slapped a healthy sounding label on and sold with a kick ass marketing campaign. Yes, that’s right some wonky smart fellow said, “What the hell are we going to do with all this leftover brewer’s yeast?” and Vegemite was born. It makes the Pop Tart’s origin as dog food pale in comparison.
Editor’s Note – If you want to see more Ballsack (and really, who doesn’t) you will have to go the Batcave. That’s where he lives.
The 1950s were stupid. Women didn’t have equal rights and they certainly didn’t have the same elevation as men. That was soon fixed in the 60s with the advent of fuck-me-pumps. However, women still sucked. They didn’t earn as much as men and they couldn’t go to school or vote like men.
This is me in my apartment, chillaxing to the Rolling Stones. Sorry for the small photo; I used my microiPhone.
Society has learned a fuckin’ lot since then – like iPods, iPhones, iPads and Windows 2015. And, because of these things, society has become a lot more adept and righted the wrongs and wronged the rights to make a far more harmonious society. However, the woman’s revolution really didn’t go far enough since the 70s and really stagnated in the 2010 era and society isn’t really as harmonious as it should be, due to this fact.
Even though women are earning [in many cases] more than men and have better job prospects than men, they really don’t have their full, rightful and retrospective status as equals amongst the unequals of men. Thus, as the 2020s Dude, I propose that men pay women even more, and I don’t mean for sex!
It’s really clear to me that for society to be truly progressive, men must accept to give women even greater responsibility, such as to become totally dominant as the earner in the family (where there is one) while letting the man stay at home to look after the house work. Once this is complete, society will be at total peace and harmony and the Republican Party can finally be scrapped.
Smell you later,
20s Dude
It's not polite to point
Since most of you don’t like in Britain, you probably are not up on British fashion. Well, worry no longer. I am here to keep you up to date on the fashion trends of our little floating friends to the east. And right now, it’s pointy bras! According to some British bra scientist:
‘Conical bras have 48 technological components to help create that 1950s silhouette.’
This is why women need to stop complaining that they have it tougher than men. You have 48 technical components. What do guys have? Some socks stuffed into their pants? That spray-on hair? All you British women with your pointy boobs should be helping your soccer hooligan men out by poking them with your pointy boobs. They’ll appreciate it, and it might keep them from trying to burn you at the stake for being a witch. Or it may make them more likely. I’m no sociologist of England.