Posts Tagged ‘90′s’
Back in the 90′s, Tyra Banks was the first black chick on the cover of Sports Illustrated. And she was incredibly hot. Also back in the 90′s we had the Olympics in Atlanta and I have no idea if anything important happened during them whatsoever. Perhaps we won some medals in car racing or burping. I know we must have won for Tyra Banks Having. And Tyra Banks won for “Hot young model most likely to be weird in the next decade and have lots of people make fun of her.”
Another thing that was good in the 90′s was Blackstreet. And “No Diggity” is the kind of a song that people who don’t like R&B like. And if you think it’s rap then you are sort of right because Dr. Dre is in it. He’s another thing that was better in the 90′s. So before you think that everything in the 90′s sucked, think about some of the good things. Like this song, and our gold medal in Belly Bucking in 1996! Video and lyrics after the jump!
Fiona Apple. She was so bad. Smoking cigarettes. Being really skinny. Humping a bunch of 90′s looking people in some basement. The video for this song was sort of what “That 70′s Show” would have been if it had been “That 90′s Show”. Sort of makes me wonder how the world is working now since the people in this video are all in the late 30′s, early 40′s now. They prolly have jobs and kids and herpes and all sorts of other happy reminders of what criminals they were.
Did you know that when you take ecstasy it makes your brain flood with dopamine? That’s what makes you feel so good. But what all the self-involved dip-shits didn’t know when they were taking it while listening to Fiona Apple was that the human body only creates a certain amount of dopamine and it’s supposed to last you your whole life. So Fiona and all her friends might have thought it was a great idea to get all zonked out and roll around some weird house but they were wrong. Not right away, and not even in 20 years. But let’s say…when they are 60. I don’t know what year that will be because I’m not some sort of Calendar Wizard but I think we will know when it is by the high numbers of ex-hipsters killing themselves because they are so sad.
Will the mass, dopamine-shortage-driven suicides of 90′s narcissists be caused directly by Fiona Apple and her song “Criminal”? I don’t know for sure. But I can say without any reservations that the odds are 50 / 50 that it’s her fault. Video and lyrics and some dude’s foot in her mouth after the jump!
OK, so I know most people think the 90′s were happy times, filled with nothing but Seinfeld and roofies, but there was a dark side to the decade as well. Failed Internet companies, the Atlanta Braves’ pitching staff selling its collective soul to the Devil, the H.O.R.D.E. Tour, all these things represent the 90′s trying to make us sad and scared.
The Prodigy is a fine group of young fellows from England. They have had a very long career and are still making music. And I don’t give a shit about any of that because this video scares me. I know they look sort of normal in the banner pci but I assure you THEY ARE NOT! They are terrible monsters. And I don’t just mean the bald guy and the black guy. Even the other ones. The ones with the sweaters. They scare me now, too. Mostly because until I went looking for a picture I didn’t even know those three normal looking guys were part of the band at all. They might look normal but they are in on it with their monster buddies.
You know how vampires have to have a regular person as a helper? The guy who can go out in the daytime and drive cars and drink soda? That’s who those guys are for The Prodigy. They drink sodas and make the monsters come near me and scare me. How else do you explain a band whose songs only have one verse and chorus that they repeat over and over again? That’s not how the Indigo Girls do it. Or Lisa Loeb! Or Chris Isaak! Because they aren’t monsters and they don’t want to kill me with their weird Britishness and creepy eyes and faces. After reading the lyrics, the song might be about Nintendo, though. So I guess the moral is to not let British monsters into your house to play Nintendo, even if they have normal looking people who come over in the daytime and ask nice.
Just shoot any British motherfuckers who come near you.
And just in case you think I’m racist, the black guy is scarier. Video and lyrics after the jump. .
OK, it’s 2011 and it’s time for some bigger guns. Since I’ve been doing Friday 90′s for a year now, I thought I might be running out of songs, and then I thought for another second and realized I haven’t even picked any really good songs yet. THAT ENDS NOW. O.P.P. by Naughty by Nature is one of those songs that ought to be put in one of those time vaults. That way, centuries from now, people can listen to it and wonder what the fuck Treach is saying and simultaneously think the chorus is bad ass.
But if you pay attention to eht rhymes you realize that this is one of the most cleverly crafted songs of the decade. Not only that, but the video includes the 90′s staple of two or more chicks doing some choreographed hip-hop dancin’. So – I give you O.P.P. If you have never been O.P.P. too bad. If you have never had O.P.P. too bad. Then again, that seems like it’s impossible so you are all probably either misled or lying. Everyone at some point was down wit O.P.P. As Treach said:
“When OPP comes, damn, skippy I’m with it”
Video and lyrics after the jump.
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Raaar! What the fuck am I doing in this video? Raar! I don't know! No, YOU'RE GAY!
I want it known that I don’t have an iPhone. I have a Palm Pre (screw you). So I didn’t know that this song is being used in an Adult Swim Game for iPhones. That said, good for them! Erasure was, I thought, two gay dudes. But in this video apparently one of the gay dudes turned into a Japanese chick and there is also some kind of monster (pictured above). Maybe that’s the other dude? Maybe he’s pissed that his gay buddy went straight for that Japanese chick. Or maybe he quit. I don’t know. I’m not in charge of Erasure.
Video and lyrics after the jump. And if people try to hate on this song I will…gay all over them. Or something.
This picture captures 1990 better than any other picture in the world.
I thought I had gotten enough of ‘clever’ bands last week but apparently not cause there I was in my car today thinking about They Might Be Giants. And since I can’t find videos for any of the songs I like the most off of Flood I’m just gonna do Birdhouse In Your Soul. Cause nothing says clever like a song that just keeps repeating itself at the end. And is about a night light? Maybe?
Actually – I guess that’s the point of this post. Someone tell me wtf this song is even about. And be convincing or else I will go back to more straightforward 90′s songs. Did you ever hear anyone ask what Baby Got Back was about? Didn’t think so.
You know – video and lyrics (WHICH YOU NEED TO INTERPRET) after the jump. Oh, and as a bonus, I’m including Craig Ferguson doing Istanbul (Not Constantinople) as a cold open from his show cause I love that song and I would have made the post about that but for some reason I need to have the original video. It’s not anarchy here, you know.