Posts Tagged ‘big boobs’
The nice lady in the banner pic is Sarah Harding from the British girl group “Girls Aloud”. I was going to include a video of their music so you didn’t automatically assume I picked her this week because of her big boobs. However, I did some searching on YouTube and I swear I could not pick her out in any of the videos. Then I searched for just her name and I found a blonde chick so I got confused.
Normally I would give up but I felt like I owed it to you to get to the bottom of this. I could not go by hair color and pictures can’t have British accents so I had to do some complicated boob measuring. I went all over the Internet and looked at a lot of boobs and came to these two conclusions:
- The girl has big boobs.
- She went swimming with Goose from Top Gun. Look at him there in the background. Apparently he didn’t die in the accident. I think that’s something we can all be happy about.
Happy Bikini Sunday! I added in the Top Gun part because it’s Father’s Day.
No shit, my computer shit itself DURING the show. And I could HEAR Melz and Beans making fun of me but I couldn’t do anything about it. So I had to move to a different comp that didn’t have anything to do with the gallery and I stole this gif from warmingglow.com. Check them out if you want to see a million gifs of Annie running with her big boobs bouncing all around.
And the thing I was just about to do before things exploded was play a voice mail from Julie at Momspective. Let’s make sure that we all cheer for her throwing up on herself (and not me). And anyway I fixed my computer and did something so awesome for this week that you might die so suck it.
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Sondra had been sitting in the parking lot outside the Genetti Hotel for twenty minutes just watching the people climb out of their cars, shuffle along the sidewalk and enter into the building. She hadn’t recognized anyone yet, but she had no idea who was already inside.
She turned the rearview mirror toward her face and stretched her neck to examine the black vein that disappeared into her hair and crawled up the back of her neck. She had done everything she could to cover it up with makeup, and for the most part it was barely visible unless one was looking for it, but she could see it, and that was all that mattered.
“God, I feel so stupid,” she pushed the mirror away and jammed her spine against the seat behind her with a self-defeated huff. “I should have stayed home.”
Her mind raced over every humiliating scenario it could muster, from walking right into the middle of a point and laugh ceremony to being completely ignored when she entered. She squeezed her eyes tightly closed, but the sting of tears darted along the edges of her lashes. It wasn’t fair that no matter what she did, she couldn’t shake her own pathetic label.
Destroy them. A tiny voice inside her spoke up. The only way to show them what you’re made of is to destroy them all.
Sondra sat upright and reached for the mirror again. She drew it toward her face and leaned forward to inspect her reflection. “I should destroy them,” she told herself, her watery blue eyes darkening with vengeance.
Yes, the voice inside hissed. Tear them all apart.
“I’ll tear them all apart.”
And eat their brains. Read the rest of this entry »
When Todd came home from work four nights later, he found Sondra sitting naked in front of the vanity mirror with a hairbrush suspended in midair, her head tilted to the side as though she had been frozen in time by some sinister spell. She hadn’t even heard him come in, missed the flash of his image in the mirror behind her, and didn’t jump until he lowered his hand onto her shoulder and said, “Penny for your thoughts.”
The frigid statue she’d become quickly animated, causing her to leap reactively. Surprised, she first glimpsed him in the mirror and then craned her head over her shoulder to look up at him. “Don’t sneak up on me!” She scolded. “You know I hate that.”
“I was louder than a goddamn train wreck comin’ in here,” he said. “How you missed me, I’ll never know.”
Sondra lowered the hairbrush onto the table. “I swear, I don’t know what’s gotten into me. It’s like my mind is going… and I—I can’t remember where or even who I am half the time anymore.”
“It’s that damn reunion,” Todd said. “It’s all you’ve been able to think about for the last week.”
Todd had always been an amazing lover, and sometimes when they were making love things got a little rowdy. Desperate bodies clambered against the moment, as if the apocalypse was nigh. In a wicked maneuver, their pretzel-twisted bodies slid from the bed and tumbled to the floor, but not before Sondra had caught her left breast on the corner of the mahogany bedside table.
Sondra had never imagined the human body could feel such pain, and while she sobbed in agony, Todd went and got her a bag of frozen peas to lay atop the quickly forming bruise.
“I am so sorry, Baby,” he hesitated in reaching out to touch her.
She stopped crying and now wore an embittered scowl. A pale blond lock fell across her forehead and over her eye. “I’m gonna have a hideous bruise,” she pouted.
Sondra stood sideways along the length of the bedroom mirror admiring the curve of her profile. Of course, she wasn’t looking at her face; no, she was looking at her chest—at her tits in particular. For the first time in her life they were. Yes…they were.
All of her life they had been rather absent. In fact, since puberty, she had been the butt of everyone’s jokes. It began in the seventh grade, when all of the other girls started to blossom, as her mother had so delicately termed it. Sondra’s body remained unchanged, boyish and lanky, while the other girls seemed to become women overnight.
Near the end of eighth grade the boys had started to call her “A Pirate’s Treasure” because she had a sunken chest. By the time they all came back from summer vacation to enter high school, she was more collectively known as, “Ahoy, Matey!”
All through high school, everyone addressed her by that horrible moniker; girls, boys, even a few of the teachers had gotten in on the joke. There had been a particular group of nasties, a handful of cheerleaders and a couple of football players, who instigated most of the name calling, humiliating Sondra at every turn.
“Ahoy, Matey!”