Posts Tagged ‘Big Brother’
Another year has come and gone and I would like to take the time now to look at the year here at the Gallery. I went through our site’s stats and picked out the top hit-getting posts published this year. It wasn’t quite as simple as I thought it would be. You see, when we make posts with multiple pictures in it, the site counts each picture view as a hit. So, it’d be kind of hard to compare a post like that to a post with all its content on a single page. I solved this problem by making two separate top 15 lists. I made one for the multiple picture posts and one for the single posts. Just hop the jump and we’ll get started!
Well, now that this is over, my career as a recapper is over. It paid zero but my amazing posts (and JW’s ones that showed boobs) did get at least one person to watch the show. This person. So form me over some money, CBS. You owe me. Big time.
Why the hell did I decide it would be a good idea to recap a show that was on 3 times a week? I guess it could have been worse. I could be recapping Morning Joe during the week and LOCKUP on the weekends. All MSNBC all the time, baby. Joe, Mika and some guy makin’ booze in a toilet with his foot. That’s a career! But anyway, as far as the show is concerned, here are my final bullet points.
- Hayden won as I predicted a long time ago.
- It was not unanimous as I predicted at the end of the first hour of the neverfuckingending two hour crapathon.
- Monet is a bitch.
- Matt is going to Hell.
- Brendon is a moron.
- Lane didn’t answer any of the questions they asked at the end.
- If Lane had told Enzo the truth he might have gotten the money.
- I’m sick of this.
They can all suck it.
Stupid Tivo. It betrayed me. I HATE clip shows. HATE them. And I was really afraid that tonight was going to be a clip show. But Tivo said that it was nomination. So even though the fact that there is no nomination in the last round (it’s just the HoH picking who goes to the finals with him) I decided that there must be something gonna happen.
I was wrong. Nothing happened except that I may now be convinced that Team Derh (The Brigade) may indeed have been the best alliance of all time. They could have been lying (though it seems unlikely) but if they did purposely develop side alliances then they just might be the best ever. The fact that the three of them are the last ones standing is one piece of evidence. The cutting out of Matt the wife-cursing double dealer was a genius move. They have a jury that can’t hate them too badly and they seem to be good friends.
I still think that they had the advantage of playing against the stupidest bunch of idiots ever assembled, but even when I think about past seasons I have to say they would have done well. Then again, had there been an actual other alliance in the house the Brigade may have been flushed out. But, nothing can be done now. It’s too late to bring in other, smarter players. So if you add getting cast with a bunch of idiots to their list of accomplishments, then they really are the best ever. And we’ll find out who wins on Wednesday.
And if you hear me next year talking about how I should do recaps of Big Brother, please slap me.
Oh and Vange was busy so here is the Comment of the Week. I base my decisions on things that make no sense. If you have any problem when that, then penguin my on the hammock-blender. The best comment of the week was captain america in Jenny Beans’ This Week In Weird article.
captain america: September 10, 2010 at 9:54 am
Try to fake a mongol who loves cars?
I won’t try, captain america. I won’t try because it doesn’t mean anything. Thank you.
Here’s something you would never guess! There were two competitions and Enzo lost them both. He had an equal chance. One was physical. One was mental. He lost both. I think if they had a competition where the only way to win was to be named Enzo he would have thought they meant last name and disqualified himself. And why? Because his wife his hot. They showed her tonight. She’s pretty hot. I know it’s Bayonne, but you have to figure she could have done better than Enzo. But nope. And do you know why?
Cause one night, Enzo was in bed and said to God: “If she marries me I swear to you I don’t need to ever win anything of consequence ever again.” And he got his wish. So he better take a running jump at wifey when he gets home cause unless the Earth slips off its axis he ain’t winning no half a million dollars.
Enzo could not beat Phil Davison for Stark County Treasurer. The video below shows you the significance of the preceding statement. Phil Davison is 100% insane.
I admit it, I was wrong. I was pretty convinced that Team Derh would cut Lane out and I was wrong. They decided to stay with their three guy alliance and you know what? I don’t even want to talk about it. Brittany was voted out and now the final three is Lane, Enzo and Hayden. They made promises and kept them. Hayden should now win. If he goes to the final two he definitely should win. As far as the other two are concerned, I would pick Enzo over Lane. Unless Enzo wins the final HOH, he can only play the card of “Hey, I didn’t win anything but I’m still here.”.
Nah, the three doofuses can gaze at each other’s dongs for the rest of the week and then one of them will win a half million dollars. Which sounds like a lot, but if you think about it, they had to play for three months! So if they were working a regular job at that salary then they would only be making like…two million dollars a year? Fuck them. After the jump, I found a video (no lie) of cable news commentators/opinionators Mika Brezinski and Monica Crowley together with another chick. HOT. Seriously, no lie. This has nothing to do with search engine hits at all. NOTHING!
OK, it is almost over. There are only four people left and three of them are on Team Derh. Now, am I going to take back all the mean things I’ve said about Team Derh since the beginning? No. I am not. Despite the fact that three of the original four of them are still around, I do not credit their exemplary game play. No, I instead credit the fact that they were playing against what may go down in history as the sorriest bunch of doofuses ever assembled on the show. Look at them up there. Can you name ONE other alliance (not including Team Finger)? Two people is not an alliance. Did Team Derh succeed by teaming up in the beginning and then sticking to it (mostly)? Yes. But that’s like congratulating them for being the only people on the submarine who didn’t open a window.
And there is Brittany. Baby Blonde is scared to death right now but I personally don’t think she’s going anywhere. Hayden is safely in the final three as he won the HOH. But the weird thing with the final four is that the person who wins the Veto is really the one who has the majority of the power. As there will be two people on the block, there is only one person voting. There can’t be a tie so the HOH won’t vote, and the person who wins the Veto, unless they are a complete moron, will make sure they are safe and will cast the only vote to evict. That’s why Baby Blonde Brittany should not be worried. It breaks down like this:
- Brittany and Lane are nominated. Enzo is voting and should vote out Lane.
- If Hayden or Enzo Wins veto, the nominations stay the same and, I believe, they will keep Brittany.
- If Lane wins veto, he sends home Enzo.
- If Brittany wins, she sends home Enzo.
So by my calculations….I don’t care. Crap. I’m sorry. I wanted to. I’m not particularly mad at any of them. Enzo stinks at challenges so it will be funny if he wins the veto. He’ll stomp around and say he won the one that really mattered. And he’ll be right. Lane seems like he’s rich already. Brittany is a bitch. Hayden has too much hair. But fuck it. I have a luxurious head of hair, so I will root for Hayden. GO HAIR!