Posts Tagged ‘Christmas’
Christmas is busy. This is all I got!
So there is a new writer. Christy Ramsey. You can call her Cramsey. Or Crammer. Or Christy I guess. She has her own site but as part of her plea bargain she has to write here, too. Her site is TGNP.me which stands for something but I don’t remember what it is. I’m pretty self-centered… But she’s funny so go see her prove it. — Acadia
I love this song. It’s my second all time favorite novelty Christmas song. And there were NO good videos for it. Zero. None. So I made one. Windows Movie Maker is sooooo much easier than Flash to make movies with. And thanks to people’s really fucked up ideas about what Christmas pics should and should not be posted to the internet, I can guarantee you that you might like the song, but you will pause it at least once. Or rewind it. There’s a chick dressed up like Santa and holding a monkey for fuck’s sake.
Cat dude is good, too. I like to think he’s sitting somewhere wishing he was cool enough to be making stupid ass videos on Christmas Eve. I like to think everyone is. Or maybe I wish I weren’t? Whatever. Merry Christmas, jerks!
Bob Rivers – The Restroom Door Said Gentlemen
The restroom door said “Gentlemen,”
so I just walked inside.
I took two steps and realized
I’d been taken for a ride.
I heard high voices, turned and found
the place was occupied,
By two nuns, three old ladies and a nurse.
What could be worse?
Than two nuns, three old ladies and a nurse.
The restroom door said “Gentlemen,”
it must have been a gag.
As soon as I walked in there,
I ran into some old hag.
She sprayed me with a can of mace
and smacked me with her bag.
I could tell this just wouldn’t be my day.
What can I say?
It just wasn’t turning out to be my day.
The restroom door said “Gentlemen,”
and I would like to find,
The crummy little creep who had
the nerve to switch the sign.
Cause I’ve got two black eyes
and one high-heel up my behind.
Now I can’t sit with comfort and joy.
Boy, oh boy.
No, I’ll never sit with comfort and joy.
There might be somewhere you’re going; It might be a nice cheery place. There might be kids and some of them might be yours. Christmas might even be at your house and there’s a pretty tree and the roast beast is ready for the Who-Ville Christmas feast. It’s a wonderful holly Jolly Christmas and you’re channeling the Grinch. Face it, if just one more person tells you a lame Christmas Joke you’re going to strangle them.
What do you call Santa Clause after he’s fallen into a fireplace?
Krisp Kringle
Ho Ho Ho that’s so funny. Just you watch I’m going to push down your snowman for that one.
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As Lovely Larry up there can attest, Christmas novelty songs can suck. The 90′s ones were no different, except I guess for a couple by Bob Rivers. He had this one that was good and one I’m going to post next week that really makes me lol. Not that it is that tough to make a one minute and thirty second song based on someone else’s tune.
This one is a parody of “Winter Wonderland” about a guy who digs wearing women’s undies. I don’t really see the appeal but I don’t judge. Wait, no, that’s not right. I judge everyone. Like you, skinny face. And old green mouth in the corner. And you fucking people from the South and/or the North. So yeah, I like judging. And I judge dudes who like to wear women’s underwear as harmless idiots. Unless they are stealing the underwear from women who need it more then they do they aren’t hurting anyone. BUT! The women who love them are wrong. Wrong to their very core.
If there is any woman you can find that can say: “Yeah, I like my dudes to wear my underwear when I bang them” I will do a special feature on that woman. And if you know Larry from the pic above, I will do a feature on him as well. Sure. ”Cross-dressers and the women who love them”. That’s a good topic. I’m thrilled with how my life is turning out. Sigh.
WAIT! I found a video that has the song set to some anime. Nothing like fucked up Japanese people to make me feel better! Weird video and lyrics after the jump. Nobody’s eyes would ever turn into octagons, JAPAN!
You may have already seen this pic floating around the interwebs over the last week or so. I believe it deserves a spot here at the Gallery, though, so you get to see it again. And if you haven’t seen it yet, well, I’m not sure there’s much I can say to prepare you for what you’re about to see. I’ll just say that it may be the most bizarre nativity scene you’ll see this Christmas. Enjoy!