Posts Tagged ‘commercials’
The following is a sponsored post. I’m getting paid for it. If you all just sent me money I wouldn’t have to do this but you don’t so here we are. At least I find cool places to advertise and make the commercials fun.
Comcast Specials! That as the only thing Acadia could see on the bright yellow flyer jammed into his door. He plucked it out and slipped it into his pocket. He thought the building didn’t allow solicitors. He’d have to talk to Lenny down in the lobby at some point.
That could wait, though. He was beat. The flight from Pakistan to New York was long and brutal but somehow the commercial flight on the little puddle jumper from NYC back to Portland, Maine was worse. Acadia “Treacherous” Einstein was glad to be home, yellow Comcast flyers notwithstanding.
Remember the OLD band for the Free Credit Report commercials? They had better songs than the band now. And I seem to remember that there was some sort of contest to pick the new band.
Why?
If you had a job shooting commercials that doofuses like me will memorize and wander around singing forever would you quit? I mean, assuming that it paid reasonably well, it seems like the perfect job. I put all the old videos after the jump, but nothing will top the “Dream Girl” one for me. Is it the resigned sadness? The fact that they pretend that “com” rhymes with “yard”? Nah. It’s the fact that the dude says that if he had known his girl had bad credit he would have left her.
Decent Equifax: the virginity of the 21st century!
Oh, and if anyone really knows why they left, tell me. I assume they were fired. If they weren’t then I want to hire them to play at my house. I bet I could afford them, too. What else could they possibly be doing? What’s your favorite video? Do you think that girl was in any more commercials? I’m so full of questions!
There’s not much to say about the video I have for you this week. It’s a commercial for Aaah Toilet Paper Foam. What is toilet paper foam, you ask? It’s…well…it’s foam you put on toilet paper. So, if you crap yourself and don’t wipe for about 6 hours or so, you can use this stuff to help clean the dried poo off your bunghole. Am I being gross enough here? I feel like I’m not…
It’s not often I catch things when they are just taking off. Quite often I’m a good 30 years or so late. This time, however, I’ve managed to find something that’s still relatively fresh. If you haven’t heard of this Ojai Valley Taxidermy commercial yet, prepare to be magically whisked away to the magical land of bizarre commercials.
What? I like penguins. They are like the Ostriches of the Ice. Or the Fish of the Land. I can’t decide which is more majestic. Also, you never hear penguins crying about how their arthritic knees hurt them when it gets cold. Why? Well, I’m not 100% sure they have knees, and it is always cold where they live. So maybe you queer scientists should be squeezing out some penguin juice to cure arthritis!
Also the video after the jump has a penguin and it’s funny. And it’s from Sweden I think. Or Spain. Whoever they are they talk foreign the dirty shitters. Don’t let them ruin the penguin stuff for you, though. I’m awfully racist.
Seriously, the thing I found after the jump is pretty awesome. It has sound right off the bat so watch out, but it is awesome. AWESOME. If I could figure out how to not have it outplat I would do all the posts this way from now on. Also, Mr. T!
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