Posts Tagged ‘Conservatives’

Hard to believe another week has passed already.  OK, so that’s a total lie.  I completely expected it.  But despite that, we did have a whole week of shit happen that the crack reporting staff here at the Gallery did not deem newsworthy.  So here is a quick recap.

• There was another snow storm on the East Coast.  Conservatives claimed it meant there was no global warming.  Libs said that was not true and are now trying to change the name of the whole to “Climate Change”.  This is as typical as things can get.  Conservatives make up some shit and yell it at libs.  Libs then roll up like a wet napkin made out of woven pussies and lose all their credibility.  The Democrats need someone on their side who is actually going to raise their voice.  All they have now is Barney Frank, and when he yells I keep expecting him to throw confetti like Rip Taylor.
• The Olympics kicked off by killing a Luger from Georgia.  That completely sucks.  One would think that those dumb Canadians would have gotten the idea to put padding on the solid metal poles they have around the Luge track before someone ran into one and died.  Then again, perhaps the track was designed by Toyota.
• The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue came out this week.  Everyone who doesn’t know what the Internet is promptly whacked off and Sports Illustrated employees each had to throw another $20.00 into the “holy shit how long can we keep doing this?” jar.
• I drove from Fort Lauderdale, Florida to Charlotte, North Carolina.  The drive was not more interesting than any other time.  There wasn’t even good traffic in Daytona.  I wanted to see some stringy haired biker chicks riding behind fat dudes who wear T-Shirts that say on the back: “If you can read this the bitch fell off.”  The bitch didn’t fall off. 
• I got a few people telling me how much they like Shawnee Smith (the girl in the banner pic).  Stay away from her.  She’s not for you.
• We also found out that the site isn’t sending any emails.  So if you have been filling out the contact form – we aren’t getting it.  Sigh

OK – after the jump you can see the best comment of the week  and the post it came from.  I was disappointed that nobody nominated anyone.  Then I remembered that you are apathetic a-holes, though.  So we’re cool.

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Quitter!

Sarah Palin, hottest governor in the history of governors, quit today for some reason.  Here is some real info on it.  But since I need to go eat, I don’t have time to dig out any facts or anything, so here are some made up potential reasons.

• Moving to Argentina to live with Mark Sanford.
• Replacing Paul Schaeffer on Letterman.
• Moving to Hollywood to become a Tina Fey impersonator.
• Realized being governor of Alaska sucks.
• Stickin’ it to the man.
• Wanted to break Pat Buchanan’s heart.

I guess any of these are likely, but what a weird thing.  I said when she gave the speech at the convention, if she had just given the speech, not run as VP, then went back to Alaska and studied a bunch of shit, she could have wiped the floor with people down the road.  But now it’s just crazy weirdness.

Also – I am serious about wondering who the hottest governor is now.  Do they have like a governor’s yearbook?

Thanks to biz from the Batcave for this!  He made it up his own self!  Also – after dicking around with trying to post it all fancy, I found out  I could just paste the whole thing in – hooray for lazy!– Acadia

We here at the Gallery are strong supporters of Free Speech.  Just look at the Current Affairs section of the Batcave!  And because we get so juicy over disparate opinions, we are starting a new feature called…Speech at No Charge?  Nah, we will call it Free Speech.  Anyway, here is the first installment.  I was gonna write something about it, but instead I will just use the description I put on Youtube.  I’m not some…maker upper of lots of words or something.

You may or may not know the Jimmy Buffet Asshole song, but I bet you know Al Gore! The song is set to pictures of people whom the author figures all belong in the same group. I don’t know about you, but if I had a gun with one bullet and was faced with both Osama Bin Laden and Barbara Streisand, I sure would have a hard time figuring out who to shoot.