Posts Tagged ‘Elin Nordegren’
I am smug! And pierced! With shitty eyebrows! But I'm on TV!
Although I never claimed to be a fan of Tiger Woods, I would have thought he was a bit brighter. The cheating does not surprise me but some of the decaying road kill he has been linked to is unbelievable. I know I know! He was under duress because his daddy did it too. Whatfuckingever.
His wife Elin Nordegren is HOT. He, on the other hand, is rather homely! This hardly seems to matter though; a lot of insanely hot women pair up with aesthetically inferior men who cheat on them. Apparently even a beautiful Swedish model like Elin can end up with an ego maniacal pervert who is incapable of keeping his golf club at home.
Elin, like many women, has the misfortune to see the faces of the sluts their husbands are banging behind their backs. Sure, she is pissed that he cheated. Yes, she is tired of being accosted by the paps about it. Of course she is worried about how the children will be affected. But aside from all of that, she is more than likely disgusted and livid over the fact that Tiger would risk everything he has with her just to bust a nut with some of the nasty skanks he has been linked with. In some ways, this is more embarrassing that the simple fact that he cheated.
More after the jump!
I don’t care what rich people do unless it involves them giving me some of their riches. Tiger Woods apparently likes cheating on his hot wife. According to the whole fucking internet:
AS his list of mistresses continues to grow, Tiger Woods’ wife Elin Nordegren has had enough and moved out of their $3 million luxury home. Neighbours and other sources close to Woods told RadarOnline.com that Elin is living nearby in another house.
A nearby house? Have you seen his fucking house? My house is technically nearby it and I don’t even live in the same state. Anyway, I know it sucks that he is a big fat cheater and she is being wronged and they have kids and blah blah. But we are talking about a dude who has made 750 million dollars. She is gonna get hundreds of millions. The kids will have…a lot. And I know that people say money can’t buy everything, but I suspect that the majority of people who say that are people who don’t have hundreds of millions of dollars.
Oh, and I don’t hear a lot of people calling Tiger a scum bag. I am sure they probably called him that on The View or something, but I think people don’t know what to do cause if they make too much fun of the Asian black dude they could get accused of being racist. And picking on the wife even though she is blonde and white is bad form cause she is the victim. So could this be a jokeless tragedy? Well, the only joke it reminded me of is the one about how the world isn’t fair. (To be fair, there are a bunch of Tiger Woods jokes but I can’t remember them so post them in the comments if you have any good ones).
You know how they say that if a man bangs a lot of women he is a stud but if a women bangs a lot of men she is a tramp? You know why that is? Well, if you have a key that opens lots of locks it’s called a MASTER key. But if you have a lock that can be opened by a lot of keys, it’s just a shitty lock.
If Tiger Woods calls, tell him to send me some riches. And if his wife calls, tell her to also send me some riches. Or not. Whatever. This whole thing is stupid.