Posts Tagged ‘Gallery’
Usually when we have contests someone cheats. And it isn’t even like I cheat so I don’t have to give away the prize. It is usually a contestant who cheats and I’m too stupid to prove it or catch them. Remember that Halloween contest where three people got 50000000 votes and the other people got like, 20 each? Well I assure you that the entire time that was going on, I was running around trying to fix it while the Benny Hill Music played in the background.
But now that I have that atrocious-looking thing down there and he grand prize is an Official Gallery Mousepad! But mostly I want to see what happens if people can’t cheat – so get going! Now!
So not that it was very difficult to call, but I totally called the Anthony Weider meant to send a DM thing the day after the scandal broke. This is exactly what I said:
I will bet you $100.00 that he meant to send that as a DM. And if it turns out he was using Tweetdeck, I will up my bet to a zillion dollars.
Why? Because Tweetdeck is built to make you fuck up when trying to send tweets. I don’t even have anyone to have textual relations with and I still fuck it all up constantly. Here is Tweetdeck
- I am outlined in Red. I am being a weird stalker to a dude via Direct Message.
So you can see that Julie from Momspective wants to see my junk. Did I make a tweet asking of people wanted to see my junk so my screenshot would look cooler? Yes I did. It’s for my art. Jerks Anyway – now on to the problem that Wiener had. Confusing Mentions with Direct Messages.
Step One – find someone you want to tweet to. I’m choosing Sarah Silverman for my experiment. She tweets jokes and that’s about it. Sometimes she does crazy videos and pictures but most of the time it’s those one line jokes that everyone tweets in the hope that people will retweet it.
Oh, and just in case you think all I do is tweet to famous people – I have a very thin definition of “Celebs”. I have the red-headed racist from The Amazing Race on there, as well as Amanda Carpenter, Right Wing Shill. I also have Keith Olbermann so my Tweetdeck does not tip over.
Let’s zoom in on Sarah’s thing (heh) after the jump and see how Mr. Weiner made his mistake. Once you see it you will be all like – damn! He could sue Tweetdeck for sure!
That 10,000 Dong (lol) note up there represents the funniest thing I could find with 10,000 written on it. It signifies the Ten Thousandth comment the site has gotten since we turned into wordpress whenever that was. Maybe 2008.
I went back and looked at the first comment and it said:
test comment
Good stuff.
I tried to think of other things that have occurred ten thousand times in the past few years and as far as I can tell the list consists of:
- Me saying: “this makes me no money; I quit”
- Vange saying something about cheese or Tom Petty
- Us deleting spam comments (in the same space of time, we have deleted 97,089 spam comments – why are we deleting them?)
- Me whackin’ it <– to be fair, it’s the only thing that distracts me from taking the site down
So, after the jump you can see the pearl of wisdom that was our 10,000th comment. Thanks. It’s all we get paid so make sure you say something. Damn that’s depressing. I need to wrap this up so I can go whack it and cheer myself up. Read the rest of this entry »
OK so on Podcaturday this morning I fucked up the voice mails thing and we didn’t get to play them – so we hatched a plot to have a second show tomorrow with just voice mails. That means we need more voice mails or else the show is going to be like 10 minutes long. And, since I have decided to make it a competition, Melzer and Beans have to lose. That means when you call you should say you are calling because of the gallery. And then plug your shit. Or ask a question. Or do something. Just beat Melzer and Beans!
Call 206-888-1710 and in the beginning of the message make sure you mention the gallery, and your site, or your dance class, or your smoking hot mom. I don’t care. Just do it! Milla Jovovich did it. You can see after the jump!
Update! I am making this the podcaturday post, too cuz I’m lazy. It’s linked down there now.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
You’d have thought we’d have gotten bored by now. But nope. Discuss.
Oh, and stay tuned to the comments. We might find some old crap to link to; this frigging site goes back like a tooth. Give us money! What? I don’t know what else to say. You are supposed to be doing the talking you slack jawed yokels! This party sucks. I need my medicine.
Drinks will be served in the Batcave.
A jumpy castle will be provided as will changes of clothes for any who wet themselves. It’s a five year old’s birthday party — get it? So come get a sugar high and a bag of Party City crap and candy. We did this one right.
Drunk Giada has offered her help. Not sure what that will do.
Emeril. Gordon Ramsay. Wok with Yan. Wolfgang Puck. Rachel Ray. Chef Boyardee. All names you know. But who is the best one? Are the people from Top Chef Masters the best ones? Is the bald dude from Top Chef (the host guy) the best? How do you measure? How many cooking shows are there now? I think I saw one the other night called: Whore Cakes! I would watch a show about a bakery/brothel. Wouldn’t you?
But I digress. As I have been bitching about for like a year, I think there needs to be some sort of objective ranking system to figure out who is the best. And since none of the fuckos on the gallery staff want to help me, I am appealing to you. Here is what I have so far.
- The points need to go per year and career (like baseball).
- Michelin stars need to count for points (thus fucking Rachel Ray).
- James Beard Awards need to count for points (more fucking of Rachel Ray).
- Number of hours on TV total (judge or host) needs to count for points (Rachel Ray fucks back).
- Millions of Cookbooks sold (Rachel Ray just sat on your face).
See, it needs to be the total package. I think the cooking awards and the restaurant stars need to weigh more than TV and cookbooks, but some French asshole that nobody has ever heard of (except other chefs) has to be balanced out with Julia Child, who was on TV for 165 years. So as you can see, this is daunting. I have a spreadsheet, but in column A it just says “Big Tits” and then in cell B1 is says “Nigella Lawson” and in B2 it says poopburgers. So I need some help. Once we get the pattern down, I can hire some Indian dudes to find all the info.
Yeah, I’m outsourcing jobs. Do YOU want to do it? Didn’t think so. Now get helping! Also, Patent Pending. Fuckers. Don’t steal my idea. Annnnnd go!
P.S. – are the Iron Chefs shit or good?