Posts Tagged ‘list’
Guest Writer Kathleen Hubert weighs in on Jennifer Aniston
Men’s Health Magazine came out with the top 100 Hottest Women of all time, naming Jennifer Aniston as the Hottest, at a ranking of number one. Compared to many of her sexy rivals that came in at lower positions, such as Raquel Welch and Marilyn Monroe, many people may find it surprising that this “girl next door” star from the long-running series “Friends” has garnered the top award as Hottest Woman Alive. The word sexy is not always the first word that pops in your mind when you think about Jennifer Anniston.
One of the reasons cited by Men’s Health Magazine for Friends’ star Jennifer Aniston’s status as the Hottest Woman of All Time relates to her down-to-earth charm. This quality makes her appear attainable. Men’s Health claimed that Jennifer never overacts or plays a bimbo, instead sticking with roles that paint her as authentic and genuine. The ten year TV series “Friends” led TV reviews as a top-rated show for years as one of the most beloved shows of all time. Men’s Health also reported that funny is sexy, explaining that Aniston is sexy in a way that makes her very human.
More after the jump!
This, according to science, is the Scariest Movie of All Time. I had to go back and watch it again because of course there is going to be controversy and I wanted to be able to defend the outcome. I thought when I was compiling the list that The Exorcist would be number one by a walk. But heeeeeeere’s Johnny! But why? What makes this movie so scary (and not scary)? Well, here’s a list.
- Jack Nicholson’s performance. You could probably just stop here, but I can actually quibble with the beginning of the movie. If you think about what the movie is supposed to be about, Jack should not have been crazy at the beginning. The hotel was supposed to make him crazy. But he was kind of a freak to start with. Even during the interview. If I were Mr. Ullman I would totally have not hired him. Weird creep.
- Steadicam. It might seem dumb now but at the time, following Danny all over the place on his big wheel was a huge deal. The smoothness. The ability to create really long scenes with no cuts. The ability to make the viewer vaguely seasick. All of these things brought to you by the Steadicam.
- Being like the book. Well, other than the basic premise, there were not a lot of details retained from the books. The names? Random bits of dialog. I guess the fact that, at least in my opinion, this is the best novel that Stephen King ever wrote (or maybe the only one) made it a good framework for a scary movie.
- Not being like the book. I suppose that since people think it’s so damn scary tha the axe has to have something to do with it. In the book it wasn’t an axe he was whomping people with. It was a roque (why didn’t he just say croquet?) mallet. So while the shock value of killing people with an Axe is good, he really only killed ONE person with it. Poor Scatman Crothers. He didn’t even die in the book. So instead of smacking people with a hammer for a whole night, he just CHASES people with an axe and all of a sudden that’s more scary? BAH!
- Old lady in the bathtub. She was pretty gross. Not as gross as your mom, but pretty gross.
Now that I think about it – this movie had the creepy twins and Jack Nicholson acting or overacting or something. What the fuck. The Exorcist got so screwed. Stupid Olive Oyl Wendy! Trailer after the jump.
So I’m going to go out on a limb and think that the only question people will have about this movie is: Why isn’t it number one? Well, the 31 Scariest Movies of All Time is based on science and science doesn’t lie. So even though every FIBER of my being thinks it ought to be number one, I need to swallow my own bitter scientific pill.
I could talk all day about the movie itself. The controversy surrounding it. The ‘curse’ associated with the filming. The thought of having poor Linda Blair, who was just a kid, do all the things they had her do in the movie. I could talk about how faithful it was to the book. I could talk about how I know Father O’Malley (who played Father Dyer) personally and that he still got royalty checks for being in the movie and he was supposed to give it to the Jesuits but instead he kept if for beer and smokes.
But I’m not going to talk about any of that. I’m gonna talk about the fact that the movie was made in 1973 and I cannot in any way, shape or form think of how it could be improved. The special effects were the kind that had to be done without computers. They had to use an actual little kid. They had the throw a guy down those steps. And they had to make me think, 35 years later, that all of it could be happening. They had to make it so that even if you don’t believe in God or Catholics or the Devil, you could believe that something was really wrong in that house in Georgetown.
And they did. Trailer after the jump.
It’s crunch time, now. And I’m pretty sure that people are just trying to figure out where their favorites are going to fall at this point. Halloween is number three on the scientific list of the 31 Scariest Movies of All Time. John Carpenter’s simple little movie about a terrible man doing terrible things on Halloween night is pretty much the gold standard of Teen Slasher Movies. Good old Michael Myers knew how to slash him up some teens.
And Jamie Lee Curtis hermaphrodited her way into stardom with her portrayal of the poor girl doomed to get chased all over town by the weirdly masked maniac. Rounding out the cast was Donald Pleasance as the doctor who knows what’s happening but that nobody will listen to. Well, I guess they do at the end but by then it’s too late.
Probably everyone knows by now that the spooky mask Michael wears in the movie was a Captain Kirk mask painted white. The signature music was composed by John Carpenter (who also directed it). In fact, other than George Romero with his never-ending zombie movies, Carpenter is the only director with two movies in the top 10.
But all that isn’t what makes Halloween so good. What makes it so good is that it’s a simple story told well. There is a place for simplicity in all art. Why am I talking about art in a post about Halloween? Because, you smelly snob, really scaring someone is an art form. Are there shocks? Yes. But there is more than that. The slow, deliberate plodding of Michael Myers showed us what focus really means. Crazy is crazy, but crazy people who can be crazy and have a special purpose are frightening. Combine that with some boobs, some sweet murders, great music and a movie that I’ve never ever heard anyone say: “I’m sick of” and you have one thing. Art. Trailer after the jump.
Number four on the list of the 31 Scariest Movies of All Time is Rosemary’s Baby. I’m a little torn up about this pick. It feels like it should either be right where it is or not on the list at all. I guess it depends on how you feel about creeping dread. Cause other than a child raper as a director (Roman Polanski) and some kind of freaky old people, there isn’t a lot other than creeping dread.
It is a pretty good study of just how amazing some apartments in NYC are. And with rent control, I’m willing to bet that some of those people are only paying a few hundred a month for those palaces. But that’s neither here nor their. The fact is that it’s weird to think that someone can get knocked up and then somehow get convinced that the best course of action is to do a bunch of things that your neighbors say.
I’d have to seriously consider taking any advice from my neighbors even if they were telling me they could SEE that my house was on fire. They don’t seem trustworthy. So if I were a pregnant woman I don’t think I would be drinking all sorts of concoctions that they brought over for me. But my neighbors didn’t seem and NICE as the ones in this movie. And that’s where the creeping dread comes in.
You would think that a woman in the middle of New York City with a husband could prevent what ended up happening to her. You would think. And yet she couldn’t. Whaddaya know? Trailer after the jump.
I don’t know about you, but i am getting pretty sick of these pity picks in my list of the 31 Scariest Movies of All Time. Then again, at least it was picked ahead of Dawn of the Dead. Night of the Living Dead was I guess groundbreaking? Heh, groundbreaking, see what I did there? I don’t know of any other zombie movie that came before it so it gets points for that.
But then again, all a zombie is really is a vampire that can go out in the day and has no powers. Except for the Haitian ones; they can do stuff. I think rich Haitians use then as butlers. But the zombies in this movie aren’t butlers. They are just slow bumbling dead jerks trying to eat everyone’s brains. Well, actually, in this movie that isn’t even true. They just eat people in general.
So then if that’s the case why do they need to eat people? Why can’t they eat waffles and roast beef and Sno-Balls? And when do they poop? And how come they don’t need to sleep? Can’t some doctors weigh in on this? Why do we have to let these brainless shambling doofuses push us around? I for one am not going to take it anymore. My new plan is to try to train the zombies into being my butlers.
Stay tuned cause next year you will probably see 1000 Zombie Butlers in a theater near you (and ones further away but fancier). But for now you will have to live (or die) with Night of the Living Dead. Trailer after the jump!