Posts Tagged ‘michael jackson’

They will fry anything! But at the end of this set of pics is something fried that defies physics!

I have never had a post where there were so many contenders for the banner pic.  After the jump you will see some horrible things the South Carolina State Fair tried to get me to eat.  But before I got to that, I thought you should see the kind of things they were pushing that you couldn’t eat.  Shaney Spires down there won an unfortunately titled scholarship.  There were plenty of people there who were apparently worried that I was going to seek out a pregnant woman and whale her in the gut with a bat and that Jesus would rather I didn’t.

But I think the best part was the food.  You know how some states are known for a kind of food?  Like, Maine has lobsters.  New Mexico has green chiles.  Chicago has deep dish pizza.  Texas has, I don’t know, shakes served by pompous jerks.  Anyway.  I was all excited to find out what South Carolina was famous for.  As I sat at the end of the ski lift style gondola thing I realized that the food stands I saw had an effect.  See the people were supposed to hop off the ski lift chair and jog over to the left.  But most of the people couldn’t jog.  They just got bumped to the side or knocked over or the dude had to stop the whole thing.  There was not a lot of athleticism on display.  After the jump you will see why.  Oh, but the pics in the pig races were fast as hell! Read the rest of this entry »

I know, I should burn my fingerprints off with acid for even typing those evil words. Yes, Michael Jackson was an incredibly talented, and the hip jutting dance moves he modified were obviously stolen from Elvis, but the similarities stop there… or do they?

Last week was Michael Jackson’s 52nd birthday, or it would have been, and on his birthday there were numerous WackoJacko sightings all over the world. Dancing, singing, living a secret life in Ireland–now you see where I tied in the whole Elvis thing? No? Come on, how many times have you seen Elvis in the last twenty-five years? And I’m not talking about that time Bruce Campbell played him in that Bubba Ho-Tep movie either.
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His voice was like buttah

Because, they are arguing in Iowa about building a BUTTER sculpture for him.

I don’t know how you sculpt butter, I assume a lot like ice, but with more heart disease. So, basically, someone clearly got the idea to butter the man up and maybe get an appearance out of Al Sharpton or Magic Johnson at the state fair. Not likely, but maybe, the Reverend would grace the state with his presence just straight jaw jackin’ with the locals over how grand Michael looks as a butter sculpture.

Then, of course people realized that Michael Jackson was a weird dude and they weren’t so sure he should be met with the kind of adoration that would normally be reserved for, and I’m assuming here, Andy Williams.

So now we have a huge ordeal and the fair is just a mere 35 days away! Compromise and sculpt Michael out of corn on the cob.

LOS ANGELES (AP) — The Rev. Al Sharpton has delivered a sermon in Los Angeles where he called for nationwide “love vigils” for Michael Jackson on Tuesday.

I am sadpants you molested those boys, Michael.

The AP article I am looking at on this is vague on what the love vigils would consist of. Apparently, gathering all over the place (like all over the damn country or world) while MJ has his public memorial service.

On top of the vigils, Al Sharpton would also like for there to be a Michael Jackson stamp.

Usually there is at least five years before the postal service goes to a commemorative stamp, but Sharpton wants no part of that. Child molesters jump straight to the front of the line.

King of Pop, yes. Least sexy musician ever? Maybe.

Then you might want to click here. I haven’t watched any FOX coverage on it, but 50-50 that Glenn Beck doesn’t believe he’s actually dead.

Here’s a nice touch, by FOX:

In the video released Thursday, the 50-year-old singer appears a step slower than he was in his twenties and thirties….

I think they might be on to something here. Sucks ER is off the air, or else they could have explored this phenomena. People get slower as they age? Especially when death is knocking on the door? You don’t say.

Thanks to biz from the Batcave for this!  He made it up his own self!  Also – after dicking around with trying to post it all fancy, I found out  I could just paste the whole thing in – hooray for lazy!– Acadia