Posts Tagged ‘Stupid Death’
Kathleen Huberis a new writer. Well, new to us. It’s not like she was just born. Just read it.
For those of you who may have been in hibernation, it may come as a shock to you to find out that Amy Winehouse died recently. And for those that have been in Siberia for the last 5 years, you may be shocked to learn that the cause of death may be drug and alcohol related. Because of this, there are some serious questions being asked in the entertainment industry right now. Questions like: Who should have been responsible for making sure that Ms. Winehouse stuck with a treatment program? Who should have made sure Ms. Winehouse didn’t have unlimited and easy access to drugs and alcohol, knowing she had a problem with addiction? Who should have known better than to allow her to book herself for a tour when she clearly wasn’t capable of handling it?
These are all very good questions that need to be answered. But what I want to know is why anyone isn’t asking one question in particular: Who should have been responsible for making that poor girl brush her hair?
According to the British Press (no doubt they figured it out by hacking cell phones) Drug Addict who used to sing Amy Winehouse was found dead in London. Now, more than 80 kids got shot in Norway and I would trade any one of them for five Amy Winehouses. And you know what makes me the most mad? People who have sympathy for her. “It’s a disease…you don’t understand…”
Fuck you. I do, too, understand. I know it is a disease THAT THERE IS A FUCKING CURE FOR! I’ve have lost people I care about to drugs. I’ve also lost people I care about to cancer. And I can pretty much tell you that if I said to the people with cancer. “Oh, there’s your problem…stop doing this thing that makes you feel really good and the cancer will go away and you won’t die,” they would stop doing that thing. You know who they don’t have on that show, Intervention? People with AIDS. Or people with MS. Because people talking to you is not part of the cure for those diseases. One person told me once that if I “got” what it was like to dry out, then I would not be so flippant about it. How much it hurts. Poor baby. You know what else hurts? Chemo. And you know what chemo isn’t? An absolute cure.
So – if you are going to do anything today, think about how funny it is that there were all these people around Amy Winehouse letting her do this to herself because she had money. Then think about a bunch of kids at summer camp in Norway who got shot. If a bunch of people needed to die today, wouldn’t it have been better if the Norway guy had shot Amy Winehouse and all her fucked up drug buddies?
If you are a junkie, I hope you get help. Because help exists. If you have something that there is no cure for, take a few minutes to spit on a junkie, and ask them if they want to trade diseases with you.
Since I’m not 100 I don’t really know very much about Elizabeth Taylor. I do know that she was supposed to have the most beautiful eyes in the world or something so naturally I used a black and white picture for the banner. Seriously why doesn’t someone take this whole site away from me? Damn the Internet is stupid. Anyway – you will see from the pics below that she was pretty hot and she had some thick-ass eyebrows. See that, women? Those eyebrows look like she passed out and someone drew them on her with one of those big fat Marks-a-lot markers. And she is STILL hot. So stop worrying about your eyebrows. They aren’t the problem. It’s your face.
OK so this might not be the best eulogy that Ms. Taylor ever got but I’m betting that some dude in Nicaragua fucked it up worse than I did. So rather than dwell on the shit I know (stuck up for Michael Jackson, got married more times than my dad) I’m going to give you the trailer for Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. I think I might try to get people to call me Big Daddy, and I’m definitely gonna try to choke some chick with diamonds. Who’d have thought the snowman from Rudolph could be a bad guy. (check it out after the jump).
So Nate Dogg died this week which made using the only song I know that he was involved in the pick for this week’s Friday 90′s pretty easy. And the pic on the left (which breaks the sacred trust of one big ass picture across the top of every post I make) is the badge for my Internet BFF’s from years ago when I played this online gangster game.
I’ve grown a lot since then, and now play a different online gangster game. Nate had two strokes before he was 40 which makes me realize even more that I was right to give up my gangster lifestyle. Guns, drugs, money, fine bitches and a diet high in cholesterol is a recipe for disaster.
I usually do the video and lyrics after the jump but today I’m gonna put the video on this side. The guy’s dead. Why I gotta be a hard ass?
One time in 1997 I was watching TV and this was on. No joke. I never usually use live videos for Friday 90′s but the fact that Sting is in it and that it reminded me that I saw it when it was happening made me decide to use it. Plus the regular video is weird. Puff Daddy wiping out on a motorcycle but surviving is not all that entertaining. But Sting and a big gospel choir is. And I forgot all about Gianni Versace murdering Princess Diana.
I’ll be missin’ you. Video and lyrics after the jump.
Read the rest of this entry »
I'm what? Ahhhh fuck.
Surprise Canadian (well, it was a suprise to me) and all-around awesome idiot Leslie Nielsen died today of pneumonia. He was 84 years old. Official story and boring facts can be found here.
And I’m thinking his family was happy with the lame way Lt. Drebin went out, but we know how he really felt.
A parachute not opening – that’s the way to die, getting caught in a combine, having your nuts bit off by a Laplander. That’s the way I want to go.
I hope there are plenty of Laplanders in heaven, Frank.
And if you want to see weird, serious Leslie Nielsen, then find a movie called Day of the Animals. Frigging weird-ass movie.
Not much else to say about Leslie. He was funny as fuck. So clean up the streets of the underworld, Lt. Drebin. And whenever someone has to do something important, and that someone has a friend who doesn’t suck, the friend will stick his head in the door and say:
I just want to tell you good luck. We’re all counting on you.
The video clip below might be good, might suck. I didn’t watch it, but it was the only one I could find which wasn’t someone taking a video of their TV. Seriously, people, it’s 2010. Christ.