I spent $400.00 on an e-book explaining how to make your website profitable but I decided not to follow their advice and instead I did extensive audience analysis. I came up with the chart above. It might not be completely scientific but the colors match the rest of the site and I think I have the numbers close enough. And after figuring all this out we decided to figure out how to extend our tiny little middle part so we can spread our particular kind of joy to more people.
Unfortunately, since the odds of us getting any funnier are very slim and I would not know the first thing about teaching people to read I decided that the only option is to make more people know we exists. So while I go on a big advertising binge it won’t to do have all the new people coming reading crappy posts (like this one). And since I can’t force the other writers to do everything for me (which would be a good move on my part) I am going to ask you, the loyal audience, if there is anything you particularly want to read or see or whatever.
No butt stuff.
It makes sense that we do all we can to please you because if the big advertising thing works (people still use the Yellow Pages, right?) then you will all get swarmed with new people. So it is best that you establish your dominance now.
And in case I didn’t mention it before, you can suggest anything you want except porn and butt stuff.
Seriously no butt stuff.
As a long-established member of the British Aristocracy and complete liar, I would like to see more ‘How-To’ articles here on the Gallery. For example, this morning, as I was perusing the weeds in my garden, I trod on a roller skate and was accelerated through the fence with such a force, my wooden teeth were ignited by the friction from the air rushing past their moorings. However, if I’d had access to an article on ‘How To Stop Your Teeth From Burning Up In A Hurricane-Force Gale’ or suchlike, this unfortunate set of circumstances need never had arisen.
More butt stuff.
No, wait. I said that wrong.
I like the “How-To” idea. That’s what I meant.
I love you just the way you are Superficial Gallery.
Actually, you could be a little less aloof. Maybe a phone call every now and then would be nice.
What were we talking about?
I still say historical penis jokes are where the money is at.
Are you requesting no butt stuff because you already have that lined up? That is what I am going with, my mind is made up, don’t confuse me with the facts!
For me, honestly, keep it funny – which, for the most part, you do. Not helpful at all, but dammit I am trying to get my rank up!