danica

I don’t know much about country music.  I am proud of that fact, actually.  I will be a snob and say that some country songs are good but a big part of me thinks that the minute I start taking contemporary country music seriously I will join the Tea Party and buy a gun.  And I am not ready to do that for like, six or seven years.

Now, the video below doesn’t do anything to change my mind.  If anything, it reinforces the fact that unless it is a novelty song like Red Solo Cup then country can eat it.  The song is from some fat guy named Colt Ford (or the other guy is Colt Ford – I dunno).  And not just a fat guy like John Goodman.  He is a sloppy sputtering beardo and for some reason he thinks it is ok for him to Rap.  Now, maybe he grew up listening to NWA and always wanted to rap but he was disqualified as soon as he became a country guy and didn’t take a rap name.  If he had been: Heavy Load or Bodacious F.A.T. then I could have respected him.  But not this way.  Not…greasy.

As for the only reason I know this thing exists and the point of the whole article is that Danica Patrick is in it.  And while she looks good and gets to drive some weird vehicle she shouldn’t be in the video at all, at least in the role she plays.  Why would she be with that fat goof?  Is she the Southern version of the wife on King of Queens?  Whatever.  I hate country rappers but Danica can do no wrong.  So since she is in it this is automatically one of the top five videos of all time.  Move over, ZZ Top.  You just got knocked off the list!