Seriously I was going to write about how the guy in Boyz II Men with the eye glasses ruined the whole thing with his big dumb glasses and why didn’t he get contacts and then I noticed that in part of the video they are wearing those early 90s gangster shirts but then I realized I was being a clothingest and judging the shirts without taking time to get to know the people wearing them.  So to counteract how badly I felt I did some research.  And I concluded:



So after that was settled I was messing with something and listening to the song in another tab and I got to the part where the dude is just talking with his super deep voice and I clicked over because I was afraid it was going to be the glasses kid and it would mess up all my jokes.

So I checked and realized it wasn’t the doof with the glasses.  It was the guy with the cane.  He has a cane and he isn’t limping.  And he says:

All those times at night when you just hurt me
And just run out with that other fella
Baby I knew about it, I just didn’t care
You just don’t understand how much I love you do you?
I’m here for you
I’m not out to go out and cheat on you all night
Just like you did baby but that’s all right
Hey, I love you anyway
And I’m still gonna be here for you ’till my dying day baby
Right now, I’m just in so much pain baby
‘Cause you just won’t come back to me
Will you? Just come back to me

And I bet it sounds all lovely, doesn’t it?  Look how sweet he is.  So forgiving, so in love.

But imagine if instead of a good looking guy with nice clean clothes and his buddies around him sweetly harmonizing on a beach saying it, it was this guy.

madmanAnd he is all sweaty and pacing back and forth around his girl’s car and carrying a bat.  Wouldn’t be so sweet then, would it?  It would just be some crazy weirdo trying to trick his ex-girlfriend into unlocking the car door so he can kill her.  Which means…

The Boyz II Men guy was totally gonna kill the girl in the song with his cane if she came back.  That is why he had all his buddies with him and why they were at the “end of the road”.

They needed to get rid of the body….

Case closed.