I don’t think we celebrate the ’90s enough. I mean, I know we do a song every week but do we REALLY think about things that aren’t music related? Way back in the early nineties we thought having more channels than four was a lot. Bruce Springsteen wrote a song called Fifty Seven Channels and Nothing On in 1992. Fifty Seven? Now I am pretty sure I have fifty seven channels in Spanish? And it is a total waste because the only thing I watch on them is Sabado Gigante with the sound off.
The woman above is from a show that used to be on the USA Network. As far as I can remember, all that network had on when it started was the WWF and this show. I have NO idea if it was even on the rest of the time. But if you remember the kind of cable box that had the slidey thing and was on a long-ass wire (or, if you will, a cable), then you know who that is. AND you know what the name of her show was. AND you know how she used to say it. And if you stay tuned past this week’s song AND her clip, you will get a trivia question that you can answer in the comments. The prize is nothing. Or is it?
It is. Now on to the song!
Now, if you were alive in the mid to late nineties, were a guy and could stay up til midnight then you were probably watching The Big Show. The eleven PM Sportscenter with Olbermann and Patrick was the best thing TV ever produced. Wanna know how I know? Because if you ever say the show you can tell me which of the two said which catch phrase. Let’s begin.
- They’re…not…gonna…get him.
- You can’t stop him, you can only hope to contain him.
- En fuego.
- It’s deep, and I don’t think it’s playable.
You got it, didn’t you? Well, ESPN obviously thought you did because they released a tape (they still had tapes then) of songs that was really just what it said it was: Jock Jams. It was all the songs that they introduce basketball players to. And it was awesome. It actually still is. I don’t know if they still use it at basketball games because I live in Charlotte and ugh and the Celtics suck now and whatever. Just watch the video. There is no official video for the song so I found this one that some guy who apparently knew Michael Buffer and he made the video himself. It is EXTRA ’90sish. Look at how high their waistbands are!
And now the special bonus clip.
You said it, didn’t you. And you said it in her voice, didn’t you? Heh. Then I bet you had a secret trick that would make Cinemax come in for one second at a time, too. Didn’t you. Perv. Oh, and the trivia question? Who was the OTHER person to host that show?
That picture at the top just scared me all the way back to the eighties.
Get me a shirt with geometric shapes on it?
I’m on it.
She was like the dumb blonde Elvira couldn’t be…………..
Is it just me or does it take like, an hour for each comment to post? And also did I tell you about my special moment I had with Elvira?
I told you all those times you tried to sell us V!agra and M0rTg4g3s would get you put in spam.
You busted me. Damn.