I don’t think that people who were unaware of Sportscenter in the 90’s should be allowed to stay in America. I don’t know where they would go, but they aren’t staying here. If you could get away with it, staying up on Sunday night to watch Keith and Dan was magical. It didn’t matter the time of year. Even the terrible time when all there is to watch is regular season hockey and basketball, those two made it awesome.
I know that Keith went on to be a blowhard in a NON funny way and Dan is on the crappy NBC football show but for a while there, they were the top of the world. And Hootie and the Blowfish figured it out and put them in their video. You know why? Because they knew that would get guys to watch it. And believe me that is the ONLY way that they watched it. Here is what happened in every car that had a guy and a girl in it when this song was popular:
Radio: Next it’s Hootie and the Blowfi—
Guy: F*** that. *switches it to the station that plays “classic rock” and starts humming Free Bird*
Girl: I like that soooooooooooooong.
Guy: Find my Pearl Jam CD? Its in the back.
Girl: I can’t find it. How many Bajas do you own?
Guy: Skip it then. I’ll put it back.
Radio: And that was Hootie and the Blowfish with “Only Wanna Be with You”
Girl: Awww
Guy: heh
Video after the jump!
Hootie And The Blowfish – Only Wanna Be With You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ln6WQqRDrCo
You and me
We come from different worlds
You like to laugh at me
When I look at other girls
Sometimes you’re crazy
And you wonder why
I’m such a baby
Cause the Dolphins make me cry
[Chorus:]
Well there’s nothing I can do
I only wanna be with you
You can call me your fool
Only wanna be with you
Put on a little Dylan
sitting on a fence
I say that line is great
You ask me what I meant by
“Said I shot a man named Gray
Took his wife to Italy
She inherited a million bucks
And when she died it came to me
I can’t help it if I’m lucky”
Only wanna be with you
Ain’t Bobby so cool
Only wanna be with you
[Solo]
Yeah I’m tangled up in blue
Only wanna be with you
You can call me your fool
Only wanna be with you
Sometimes I wonder
If it will ever end
You get so mad at me
When I go out with my friends
Sometimes you’re crazy
And you wonder why
I’m such a baby yeah
The Dolphins make me cry
Well there’s nothing I can do
Only wanna be with you
You can call me your fool
Only wanna be with you
Yeah I’m tangled up in blue
Only wanna be with you
There’s one very important scenario you forgot to mention. There are like 14 people crammed in a car and Guy’s got Girl sitting across his lap because, you know, there’s no room ANYWHERE ELSE and she doesn’t want to look like a slut like that whore Jessica but then “Only Wanna Be With You” comes on the radio and she (and the rest of the Girls in the car) all squeal and start singing it, and she throws her arms around Guy’s neck while she’s singing and he HATES this song but come on, she’s practically putting her boobs in his face so he just hums a broken tune and smiles.
Is GUY driving? Because that’s dangerous.
Of course not. He has people to do that for him. He’s busy in the back seat being smothered by boobs and enduring Hootie & The Blowfish. HE HAS MORE IMPORTANT THINGS GOING ON.