So admittedly this post is going to be a little all over the place, but I have a lot going on.
- Thanksgiving – I called my mom in Maine first thing in the morning, went to voicemail. Called again a little later, same thing. I am in Charlotte. My mother and brother are in Maine. So I message my brother (why call? I know what he sounds like). He lives down the street from her. And mind you, it is Thanksgiving. So he texts me back at like, 10:30PM. I will let it speak for itself. As a bit of context, my mom lives in an apt building and in about one second you will see why she doesn’t have a cell phone. The blue is me. “My” means “Ma”.
What’s the takeaway from this? Well, why don’t you take a little peek at the time stamp of the last message. Did my mom wait til 10:30 at night to call, or did my brother wait until 10:30 at night to tell me? Either way, I didn’t seem to care as by the time he texted me I had forgotten about it. UPDATE: she found it. Pay no attention to the fact that my brother (or I) didn’t have Thanksgiving with her. My family is weird. - “Whoomp There it Is” was by Tag Team. They start out with the line “Tag Team back again”. I don’t know when they were around the first time but that doesn’t make their song any less catchy. I think technically most rap groups are tag teams because they all rap one at a time in the songs for the most part. But these guys didn’t really need to say anything else but the hook. Whoomp There It Is! is the best possible thing you can say in a few different situations: Finding something after a long time, dunking in someone’s face, finding the VHS tape of that one time you dunked in someone’s face on an 8 foot hoop in your driveway. It’s handy.
- Thinking about tag teams made me think of how good the Hardy Boyz were. And every time I watch Haven I think about how awesome Edge and Christian were. So I am including a crazy sick match from back when wrestling was good. Probably makes sense to skip to about ten minutes in. Then you can just be amazed at what those people did to entertain us. And the sad thing was that no matter how good they were, they could still get ruined by terrible writing. Which is NOT what happens to the songs in this column at all so don’t even think about making the camparison!
Oh and of course if you say “Whoomp There It Is” now you will seem like an old crapper and only other old crappers will know what you are talking about. But at night, when you are alone, you can bust out that old box of video tapes. Get past the one with Princess Diana’s funeral (why did you even tape that?) and the one with 500 different TV show names scribbled out until you find the one with the dunk.
Then realize that you no longer have a VCR and put it back in the box because even though you know there are places that convert VHS to digital you will never do it but you also never throw away the box because you are a hoarder. Happy Friday!
And now the match!
Damn, I miss Lita.
Time to cut back on the caffeine.
This captures the true spirit of Thanksgiving like nothing on the Internet. God bless us, one and all.
First, I don’t watch wrestling. Second, I am as young as springtime and I get this reference, therefore your allusions to old crappers are disregarded. Third, my family is also weird but I heard from my mom before 10:30 on Thanksgiving. But only because I texted her a picture of my dinner.