Kill! Die! Watch! Ummm. Banana!
So the second weekly round table devoted to Harper’s Island is complete. It was a little tougher than last week because nobody had watched the show but me when it was time to start. But eventually it got going and we got a new participant. The ever-prolific Maitland. So our idea is catching on. If we get one exta person a week, then by the end we will have….11 more. Well. Let’s see how it goes.
The episode was a good one and as an added bonus, we found out that we can embed the whole episode in a post. So now we can post the ep before the discussion. We are geniuses. It really is a fun show, and watching it so far has lowered my cholesterol and made my bathroom sparkle! So watch, then read. And then maybe take a nap!
Acadia : ok, it is time for round tablin’
Vange : i have to puke/pee first
Vange : brb
Acadia : oh ffs
Acadia : you people keep forgetting that i post the whole frigging chat
Hermione071 : well start after she said that.
Acadia : nope
Hermione071 : meanie
Acadia : i am starting from when i said it’s time for some round tablin’
Hermione071 : okay.
Maitland : i aint forget nothing sucker
Acadia : i am getting another beer then
Vange : if i die, you will fel bad for being mean to me
Vange : mark my words
Hermione071 : haha
Vange : ok so that was awful
Acadia : this is all going in the post, fool
Hermione071 : :/
Acadia : we dont need another 500 words about your emissions!
Vange : the bugs bunny traps?
Vange : i meant the show fuckhead
Acadia : oh
Vange : not my POSSIBLY DEADLY INFECTION
Hermione071 : OKAY BACK TO THE SHOW
Acadia : i dont get how standing in the middle of a rope loop makes it fling you in the air
Acadia : how does it know?
Vange : it alwasy works in cartoons
Vange : same with the pits
Maitland : do they have a lighthouse on this island?
Acadia : yes
Maitland : i knew the answer to that, i saw the lighthouse on wikipedia
Vange : i wanna be lighthouse keeper
Hermione071 : isn’t a lighthouse like, the backdrop of the opening theme?
Acadia : yes
Hermione071 : so there you go.
Vange : finally, somoene less observant then me
Maitland : well, ive certainly never seen the opening theme
Hermione071 : oh.
Acadia : i dont know why they dont just put lights ont he front of boats, seems more sensible
Vange : b/c those only illuminate so far
Maitland : because that will help the pirates
Vange : you douse runing lights at night
Hermione071 : well, I can safely say that one of tonight’s deaths was incredibly worse than the half severing of uncle marty.
Acadia : which one?
Hermione071 : the chick that was BURNED ALIVE.
Acadia : oh
Maitland : woah, harry hamlin is on this show?
Vange : not anymore
Acadia : she could have put herself out
Hermione071 : yep.
Vange : yeah i was yelling at acadia
Hermione071 : stop drop and roll!
Acadia : he was, until he died
Vange : stop drop and roll
Hermione071 : but I don’t think that would have helped.
Hermione071 : she was burning alive!
Vange : not turn piruettes
Hermione071 : she was probably focusing on the excruciating pain.
Maitland : wow, why did they kill him off already? do they have another LA Law THE MOVIE in the works?
Hermione071 : oh god, I would hate to be doused and lit on fire.
Hermione071 : haha, they killed him off in the pilot ep!
Acadia : they are redoing clash of the titans
Vange : it doesnt hurt that much when it keeps on
Vange : the nerves die
Hermione071 : oh lovely
Vange : smells awful tho
Acadia : i like the british dandy now
Vange : what
Vange : why
Acadia : because he handled being upside down with aplomb
Maitland : i think jd dunn is the killer
Hermione071 : the british guy and little face seem SO wrong for each other.
Vange : he needs to work on his abs
Hermione071 : but I am impressed with little face, she has some standards.
Vange : that was pitiful
Vange : do a crunch, pull yourself up to the rope and climb up to the tree
Acadia : mm hmm
Hermione071 : well, he did say he was out of shape.
Vange : CAPT OBVIOUS
Vange : him not you jo
Acadia : well, i like the girl now
Acadia : the scarf girl
Hermione071 : little face?
Vange : i did not care for all the babmi mutilation
Acadia : no, fuck her
Acadia : i mean Abby
Hermione071 : oh.
Vange : scarf girl is nose job girl jo
Hermione071 : her.
Hermione071 : ah, I gotcha.
Acadia : who went in her room and put the clipping there
Hermione071 : some fuckhead.
Hermione071 : anyone else completely creeped out by Kelly?
Hermione071 : the goth chick?
Maitland : no absolutely not
Maitland : wait, goth chick
Maitland : then yes
Hermione071 : the one who got hung at the end
Hermione071 : I could have done without seeing her and the grooms fug brother get it on.
Maitland : yeah, must have missed that
Acadia : yeah, but now the bodies are getting found
Maitland : so the killer sucks at hiding bodies is what you’re trying to say
Hermione071 : now they know someone is out to get them!
Acadia : so next week they are going to have to deal with why they don’t leave
Hermione071 : maybe the killer fucked with all the boats
Maitland : because the last ferry to the mainland left and it’s thunder and lightning out?
Maitland : aint that normally how they roll in those horror what nots
Acadia : there were like, 50 boats
Acadia : yeah, but they will have to do more than that
Hermione071 : oh, well ok then.
Acadia : there are enough people on the island to support a church
Maitland : maybe they, i dont know, SUNK the yachts
Vange : bug eyed tat girl was nasty
Acadia : with a dead priest
Hermione071 : she really was!
Vange : i get mad when TV Shows have less than gorgeous ppl on them
Hermione071 : I hate when people invite themselves to stay with you.
Vange : how long has it been since fat nose was there?
Maitland : like 3 weeks
Hermione071 : 7 years
Vange : yeah i havent seen you in SEVEN years but can i move in with oyu?
Vange : a tad rude
Hermione071 : in your studio apt no less!
Acadia : dont you call her fat nose
Hermione071 : if she really wanted to leave the island so much, she could have easily done so.
Vange : girl in need of rhinoplasty is too long tho
Acadia : jerk
Hermione071 : I just don’t get how fat nose got together with cute fisherman
Vange : we can compromise on scarf girl
Hermione071 : he’s too cute for her!
Vange : cute fisherman is best looking person on show
Acadia : just call her scarf girl or you are banished
Hermione071 : well now.
Hermione071 : Henry is sexy.
Vange : i offered a comromise
Vange : whos henry
Hermione071 : love me some Chris Gorham!
Hermione071 : the groom.
Acadia : the groom, doofus
Vange : meh
Vange : he’s ok
Vange : has ernest preppie dork vibe
Hermione071 : groom’s brother is so ridiculously fug though.
Vange : omg eww
Hermione071 : I love that!
Vange : you’re inot the ridiculously fugly?
Vange : or the ernest preppie?
Hermione071 : no, the groom, preppie dork earnest guy
Vange : ahh
Vange : well ill take fisherman then
Acadia : this is riveting
Hermione071 : we agree to disagree!
Vange : ok so the babmi mutilation was terrible
Vange : bambi
Vange : did not enjoy
Acadia : was that the brother?
Hermione071 : I did not like that either :/
Acadia : why was he washing blood off his hands?
Vange : would prefer to see random girl burning and twirling
Hermione071 : it was implied
Hermione071 : ugh
Vange : that crazy brother of preppie did the deer deed?
Hermione071 : I think so.
Acadia : we dont know!
Hermione071 : he’s crazy!
Hermione071 : and fug
Hermione071 : bad combo
Vange : but it WAS implied, no?
Hermione071 : yes
Hermione071 : I have a question
Hermione071 : why the fuck does the bride’s dad hate the groom so much
Vange : he’s from wrong side of tracks
Acadia : he hates him cause he is poor
Vange : not blue blood
Hermione071 : just because he doesn’t have money?
Hermione071 : that’s shit!
Acadia : and because the brides father killed the grooms parents
Vange : thats WASP
Vange : orly?
Acadia : for some reason we dont know about yet
Vange : uh huh
Hermione071 : ohh
Hermione071 : i want to punch the FOB in the face
Hermione071 : or kick him in the nuts!
Vange : i like him
Hermione071 : meh
Hermione071 : so is wakefield alive?
Hermione071 : I thought the dude was dead.
Hermione071 : but creepy goth kelly implied he wasn’t
Vange : scarf’s dad illed him
Vange : killed
Vange : OR DID HE?
Vange : i mean, really
Acadia : well, i think the fact that they are offing people so quickly
Vange : so its his previously unknown twin or some shit
Vange : or its a risen fromdead thing
Acadia : means they really want to get down to the guessing quickly
Vange : which will make me kill the writers
Hermione071 : this show has got to be a miniseries, there is no way they can do a 2nd season with the killing rate they have got going on here.
Vange : i think that’s a given?
Hermione071 : I will google.
Acadia : they wont do a second season
Acadia : it is a mid season replacement
Hermione071 : oh.
Acadia : it is a fun mystery
Acadia : that will engage people and then be done with
Hermione071 : I like the show.
Hermione071 : ok wiki says: Harper’s Island will have only one season comprising 13 episodes.
Hermione071 : good.
Acadia : why did someone break into the museum and just steal one thing?
Hermione071 : I thought that was used as the murder weapon?
Hermione071 : maybe the weapon
Hermione071 : was the one originally used by wakefield
Hermione071 : during the original murders
Acadia : it was just a little ass thing
Acadia : who you gonna kill with that?
Hermione071 : PEOPLE
Acadia : a bug, maybe
Vange : or hang someone with
Hermione071 : I dunno
Maitland : ya’llstill going about this island?
Vange : how much you wanna bet, they thorw in a bunch of meaningless shit like that
Vange : for no reason except to make oyu wonder
Acadia : no, it is a rule
Vange : like, it has NTHING to do with anything
Vange : whats a rule
Acadia : they have to have everything come out in the end
Acadia : it is TV rules
Vange : sure but they can put in red herrings,no?
Vange : i sooo would
Acadia : yes, but they will be exposed as such
Acadia : like
Acadia : they wont just go
Acadia : oh, we wont explain the deer head
Vange : or the museum thing?
Vange : the deer yeah
Vange : ugh bambi!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Acadia : they will explain it all
Hermione071 : in due time
Hermione071 : you can’t explain everything RIGHT when it happens
Hermione071 : you have to engage people
Acadia : yep
Acadia : they need to let people try to figure it out
Acadia : not you two doofuses, though
Vange : ?
Hermione071 : oh hush
Acadia : well, this was a good round table
Acadia : i will be posting it now
Acadia : any final thoughts?
Acadia : or maybe tomorrow morning
Hermione071 : nope
Acadia : scintillating
Hermione071 : time to say our goodbyes, friends.
Hermione071 : do you have any final thoughs?
Hermione071 : *thoughts
Acadia : i think that they have a lot of people to kill off quickly
Acadia : so the main characters can have a lot of peril
Vange : how many cast members are there?
Hermione071 : like, 30.
Vange : jeebus
Vange : and how many eps?
Acadia : like, the brides sister, super awesome gina holden
Acadia : was not even IN this one
Vange : you know what would be awesome
Vange : if they just have the final episode
Vange : where the last 1,2 3 or however many
Vange : are killed
Vange : ahahahhaha
Vange : no resolution
Hermione071 : lol
Vange : just all die horrible deaths
Hermione071 : I don’t like that idea :/
Vange : i would LOVE that
Acadia : hater
Vange : leave this disjointed pointless mess
Vange : you dont think that’d be a great prank?
Acadia : stop making fun of it, or you are so banished
Vange : im not
Vange : im being SERIOUS
Vange : ithink that would be cool
Acadia : that’s against TV rules
Acadia : how would you feel if dr whatever didnt tell nurse fuckalot that he loved her on grays anatomy?
Vange : refresh my memorty
Acadia : you would be all curled up in a frigging ball
Hermione071 : she’s not a nurse!
Hermione071 : she’s a doctor.
Hermione071 : fuckhead
Vange : who are oyu talking about?
Vange : izzy and her dead BF?
Acadia : i dont know, i have never seen that gay show
Hermione071 : he thinks meredith grey is a nurse.
Vange : you so have!
Hermione071 : then don’t disparage greys!
Vange : grey’s Is dumb tho
Acadia : ok – end of round table
Vange : ok so you dont like my AWESOME prank resolution
Acadia : no
Acadia : it breaks the rules
Vange : youve never told me the rules
Vange : which means
Vange : MAYBE the writers dont know your belief system
Vange : it is POSSIBLE
Acadia : they know how to keep their jobs
Vange : they havent read your thoughts
Acadia : no, it is not possible
Vange : its a one off
Vange : they are already fired
Acadia : nope
Acadia : doesnot work that way
Acadia : now say goodbye
Hermione071 : bye!
Vange : bye?
Acadia : bye!
ever-prolific…i like that
You should hear the kinda stuff he calls Vange and I!
It certainly wasn’t a good week to be a deer on HI!
I knew that goth chick Kellie was not long for life (otherwise the whole show would have been about scarf girl awkwardly trying to un-invite her), and while I am glad she got some tattooed nookie with the only other emo guy on the island before dying ( I assume ’cause he really “got her”) I am dreading the obvious plot points that are probably soon to follow.
the next couple of weeks arresting him and subsequently clearing him — because as I said week one, he didn’t do it. The deer on the hood yes, the murders no.
I am really liking the British guy now. I personally would not have been so good humored if I had been strung up like a salami in the woods all day.