Like a dinner in the Great Hall at Hogwarts, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 gives you plenty to chew on.  But unlike the delicious and special Butt-Crumpets, Dangly Beef and Twinkle Taters that the students get, you will be served an overall satisfying experience but with a couple dishes leaving you cold.  But don’t get me wrong.  Go see it.  The good more than outweighs the bad and I probably would not have a bad thing to say about it if I hadn’t invested 10 years in these movies and felt they owed me.

Before I get into it, I want to show you the sweet 3D glasses they gave me.  Harry Potter style.  And before I get into the spoilerific stuff down below, you can take a look at them.  You won’t get this kind I don’t think because I’m special.  And if you do get them when you go it is probably because they felt sorry for you.  Oh, and by the way, the 3D didn’t hurt anything and there wasn’t a bunch of stupid “look this is 3D here comes some Wizardly Dong shooting straight at the camera” junk.  It was just a little different.

Harry Potter 3D Glasses! I'm a nerd!

Now the Spoilers!

If you don’t know how Harry Potter ends up then you need to stop reading (unless you don’t care).  I’m not going to pick gnat shit out of pepper and dissect everything about it.  It did NOT have everything the book had, but it didn’t need to.  Here are the highlights (and lowlights).

  • The acting was better than all the other movies combined.  Not that there were a ton of gut-wrenching scenes, but the actors have been literally living these characters for like, 10 years.  And also I don’t know dick about acting so maybe it sucks.  But I bought the whole thing.
  • They didn’t do ANYTHING to discuss the fact that there had been a whole other movie before it.  It literally started right where it left off.  Not even a “Previously, on Harry Potter.”  Not that I think that many people are going to just wander in off the street and not know what it is, but even I was sitting there going: why is there a goblin?
  • The battle of Hogwarts was awesome.  I know that people who read the books (and many people who compare books to movies in general) always think that “the reader’s imagination” is better than any movie could be.  To that I say: shut up.  If I had never heard of Star Wars and someone asked me to draw a “Death Star” I would have totally not drawn a picture of anything that was round.  People who make movies and shit get paid to have good imaginations and they delivered in the fight scenes.  The spells, the fast action, those big rock guys, all awesome.  But….
  • There was no drama associated with the deaths of the Weasely twin, Tonks or Lupin.  None.  Not that it was a huge deal in the books either but still.  It was a total throwaway.
  • And the battle was not EPIC enough.  Like, there was fighting, then that weird time out, then the scene where Mrs. Weasely kills Bellatrix.  It just sort of seemed weird.  But I cannot tell you how cool it looked when they were actually fighting.  It was awesome.
  • When did Hagrid get tied up in the frigging scary forest?  Seriously.  They just showed the forest and there was Hagrid, all tied up.  I don’t think I remember how he got there.  Wasn’t he supposed to be getting some giants?
  • The one thing I really had a problem with was how they dealt with Snape.  The revelations about Snape MAKE the story.  Now, Harry went to look in the pensieve and they tried to hit on all the points but at the end, when it counted, I really felt the message was muted and muffled.  I think if someone had not read the books they would have missed the whole thing.  That said, there was a LOT of crying in the theater in that scene.
  • I had nachos!
  • People clapped when Bellatrix died, when Ron and Hermoine kissed and when Voldemort died.  They cried when they saw the Snape part and when Dumbledore talked to Harry in heaven or whatever.

So, what do I think?  I think that the movie capped off the series nicely.  There was no way they were going to be able fit everything in and there was no way they could please everyone.  But for what the movies were, they ended nicely with the exception of short-selling the Snape thing.  And really, there was no reason that they needed to be subtle with it.  I mean, they actually said right at the end:

“Harry, how come Voldemort couldn’t use the Elder Wand?”  And Harry explained it.  Step by step.  It was like when a detective explains who did it at the end of a mystery.  So if they can hit you over the head with that, they could have been less subtle with poor Snape.  Oh and the weird epilogue?  They did it.  And they did a good job making everyone look old.  Ron had a gut which made me lol.  They also got all the stars like Gary Oldman to come back long enough to make it look nice.  I was glad to see the weird prophecy lady and I love Professor McGonagle.  Overall I give it a 4 out of 5 and you will not be disappointed unless you are set on the Snape stuff.

Feel free to come back and argue with me after you’ve seen it.  Bye!