USA Basketball is going about things all wrong. Can’t really blame them, though. They started the concept of crushing Angolans and, when they find themselves at a podium with a Bronze around their neck, it just doesn’t sit well with…wait, who exactly is upset when USA Basketball doesn’t win a gold? Fans? The President?

Oh, whatever sneaker company is their corporate sponsor? Got it.

So, now, since USA hoops have taken some beatings, they’re re-focused. Defensive presence, PASS-first point guards (are you kidding me?! Did they not see that Stephon Marbury has a tattoo of his personal company logo on his HEAD? Man, he was ready for Beijing. Just had to make that call), effort being put in to select the players rather than just “fans love him”, and someone to hit a jumpshot on the perimeter. Shocking, I know, but they’ve built this team like they know what they’re doing.

Unfortunately for us, the only thing that they are doing is attempting to win.

See, USA basketball does not need to be about winning gold medals. Should that happen? Absolutely. But, should it happen instead of our entertainment?

It looks like what’s going to happen this year is Kobe Bryant will try way too hard and it will wear off on the others. They’ll run scores up, but they’ll be doing it more via slapping the floor than by slapping skinny Angolans.


Here’s what I want. A little too late, absolutely, but this team is just as good and way more entertaining. The just as good part would be a lie, but hey, it’s my first post; I’m not about to start with honesty.

PG – Chris Paul

SG – Kobe Bryant

SF – Clyde Drexler

PF – Charles Barkley

C – David Robinson

You see what I did there? I took the current Hoops team, the original Dream Team, told Michael Jordan to go to hell and there you go.

Guys I want off the bench to round out the 13 man roster…Jordan, CHRISTIAN LAETTNER, Chris Mullin, Patrick Ewing, Dwight Howard, LeBron, Melo, John Stockton.

Coaching this team is obviously Chuck Daly and not Coach K. Coach K embodies boring and just trying to win. Chuck Daly is a motherfucker who would wear suits that would be much much classier and dapper than what Coach K is bringing with him to Beijing.

Can these guys still ball? Who cares. Plus, the Olympics were once all about amateurism. Granted, not for long, but they were. I’m not sure if retired dudes count as amateurs, but they’re not making a salary now, so that’s got to be some of the Olympic spirit, right.

Plus, the mingling of the entourages on this thing is where the real action happens. What happens off-court when MJ and Kobe sit down at a blackjack table in Beijing together? What happens when Charles Barkley is consistently making fun of the name of Carmelo Anthony’s wife, LALA? What happens when Magic Johnson and D-Wade show up and wonder why the hell they were left off?

This is a team that would jack up foreigners, laugh at them, then most likely win. Or not give a shit about losing. And that’s fun.

I like Michael Redd as a player. Tayshaun Prince will never be entertaining. Carlos Boozer, yeah, same goes there as well. Apologies to Chris Bosh. He fits none with those last two.

Chances are good that the US wins the Gold. Chances are NOT good that people will care about the product sent to the court in Beijing. Doing what you’re supposed to do is not always what it’s cracked up to be. There’s a reason why people did not like the Pistons and Spurs winning Championships. Now we’re applying that same concept to the Olympics? Yeah, that’s going to move people to watch a basketball game against like Turkey at 8 in the morning.

The original Dream Team had success because there was personality on the team to go with crushing the opponents. That’s the part of the concept that needs to be restored. The winning will come naturally, I mean, come on, USA is still far and away the best basketball nation. Provide the personality to go with the talent and the wins will come. Maybe not all the time, but when they come, you’ll give a damn.

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