Yep. It’s St. Patrick’s day. So go out and get drunk and whatnot and be all Irishy for a whole day. Wear green to work. Listen to the Pogues. Think about the Wahlbergs. Anything that will take your mind off of the fact that the American people of Irish descent will ALWAYS be more proud of their heritage than people actually from Ireland.
Think about it. Do you think people wear those kinds of buttons in Ireland? You ever see anyone walking around your town with a “Kiss me I’m Portuguese” button? Irish Americans are the proudest people in our land (close second place to the Italians).
Why? I don’t know. Maybe it’s because they get to tell their grandkids (namely me) how hard they had it here when they first got here. And how my grandmother got hit in the head with a rock when she was a kid when some Protestant bastard called her a “dirty rotten Irish Catholic”. See, the Irish were persecuted, and they overcame it! If they can do it, so can you!
Listen to the song below. It’s about how the Irish were prohibited from getting jobs in the whetever time it was. Except nobody has ever been able to prove that such predjudice ever existed. Does it matter? Nope. Cause the Irish are a part of our culture, our music and our breakfast cereals. Just listen to: No Irish Need Apply[audio:http://s3.amazonaws.com/cpmn/wp-content/uploads/no-irish-need-apply.mp3]
So be Irish for a day. In fact, pick a famous Irish person you want to be. You can’t be St. Patrick. And you can’t be James Joyce or Oscar Wilde. And you also can’t be Peter O’Toole or Pierce Brosnan. Or Bono. Good luck trying to find someone good to be now. Suckers.
Also, if the person who hit my nana with that rock is still alive, you are so dead.