I am Watching The Spirit

I have worked with Woody Allen. And I have big jugs. No wonder I'm famous!

I was gonna wait until I finished watching the movie to write the review, but then I realized that however the story comes out, my opinion is not going to change.  And since I do my reviews in bullet list format, all I have to do is leave this open and keep making bullet points!

By the way – I rented this from the Big Red Box at *Harris Teeter.  If you have one of those Big Red Boxes in your supermarket – get your DVD’s from there.  It rules.  Anyway – on to the show!

• It looks neat.  Like how some of it is black and white and some of it is color.  Like Sin City but not as much.
• They introduce all the main characters in like, the first 5 minutes, which I liked.  I hate waiting for the villain to show up.
• The villain is Samuel L. Jackson who is filming movies more days a year than he isn’t.
• His name is the Octopus, which is stupid.
• I don’t know who plays The Spirit, but I doubt he will be very famous for very long.
• Eva Mendes is in it and I haven’t been paying attention so I don’t know if she is bad or good or in between but she does show her ass so bonus!
• Scarlett Johansson lets her tits do the talking for most of the movie.  And that’s actually good, because the things they give her to say are pretty stupid.
• At least two main characters dress up like Nazi’s.
• The fat guys are funny.
• There is a cat in the movie.
• The Nazi’s sure were good at stagecraft. <–this is not out of context.


I could get more money put in my coin slot down there than my movie made! LOL

• Belly Dancers don’t make scary killers.
• The movie definitely does not take itself very seriously.
• HA!  The Belly Dancer’s name is Plaster of Paris.

OK – now I am getting bored.  I am not invested in anything except Scarjo’s villain boobs.  They need to do something fast!

• The Spirit is a horndog?
• There is an annoying lady cop.
• It has an old timey plane in it.  Like, not just a prop plane, but an old timey kind.
• I assume they are looking to have it open for a sequel, but I don’t see that happening.  I heard it did shitty.  Then again, they make sequels of shitty movies all the time.  Like, the next DVD I have to watch is Underworld 3 and it doesn’t even have Kate Beckinsale in it.  For fuck’s sake – why else would you watch an Underworld movie?  Well, I guess technically I am going to find out.

*Harris Teeter is my local grocery store.  You know how there are always a few in your town.  The really good one, the ok one and the one that you would only go to if they had a wicked sale on something that came in a can?  Well, Harris Teeter is my OK one, I think.  The really good one is not near enough to me to have me drive there just to get a red frigging box.  What am I, Mister Drive Around?

And that’s my review of The Spirit!