I actually watched the second episode of season four a couple days after it appeared on HBO Go, but had to hold off recapping until now, which meant I had to rewatch the episode. Not that I minded. I frickin’ love this show!

As you may have noticed, Acadia wrote last week’s recap and I ended up posting mine on my website because the shithead forgot that I had told him I would do it. *rolls eyes*

Here’s my recap of oh-so-lovely episode two.

  • Jason is all tied up in Incest Haven and finds himself getting licked when he comes to after getting locked in the freezer during the last episode. But it wasn’t an “Oh, that’s hot. Don’t stop!” kind of licking. It was the “I’m trying to heal the gash on your forehead” kind. He tries to convince two of the younger town members to untie him, but just as one is about to, Felton busts in wielding a gun. Uh oh!
  • Eric continues to harass Sookie in HIS house. He admits he wants everything, ie. HER. He also claims to want to protect her because, gasp, he cares about her. Girl doth protest too much. She needs to jump his bones already.
  • Bill does the horizontal hokey pokey with his redhead spy. (In Mainese, Bill put the boots to her.)
  • Hoyt gets beat up by some crazy fangbanger haters after flipping out because one called Jessica a vamp whore. Dude has to defend his lady…dammit!
  • Sam runs naked through the woods and tries to kiss Luna, but she takes off. (And yes, there was a big ole boob shot. I’m sure Acadia loved it…the boob fiend.)
  • Sookie goes to visit Bill and finds out he’s the King. She asks him to talk to Eric because she doesn’t want to be Eric’s bitch. What is WRONG with her?
  • Lafayette and Jesus have a discussion about black magic. Lafayette is not feeling the whole raising the dead bird business from episode one.
  • Flashback to Bill dressed as a goth dude and when he met Nan back before vamps went public. He totally rocked the guyliner.
  • Sookie apologizes to Sam for disappearing.
  • Arlene flips out when Sookie says “He’s an old soul” in reference to Mikey. Arlene is most definitely convinced Mikey is the Devil’s spawn.
  • Andy makes a trip into Incest Haven for some V. And gets it.
  • Crystal returns to Jason and is hooked on V. She reveals she has a way for her and Jason to be together forever.
  • Luna pops up at Merlotte’s and her and Sam finally share a kiss. They’re so going to sleep together.
  • Arlene has one intense staring contest with Mikey and ends up bursting a blood vessel in her eye. Was it Mikey or just the staring that caused it?
  • Tara returns to Bon Temps and scares the bejeezus out of Sookie.
  • Sookie finds some presents from Eric in her house: a microwave, some blood and a cabinet that hides an entrance to a hidey hole where he can hide from the murderous sunlight.
  • Tara visits Lafayette and Jesus who ask her to tag along to their next Wiccan meeting.
  • Bill attempts to talk to Eric about selling Sookie’s house back to her or to him, but Eric tells him to shove it..basically. Bill orders him to check out the Wiccans that made the dead bird come back to life.
  • Another flashback. This time, though, it shows what happened to Sophie and how Bill became King. Lots of blood and wooden bullets with silver cores are involved.
  • Sookie asks Pam for help with Eric, but Pam does what Pam does best..and says no ‘cause Eric is her Maker and all. Blah. Blah. Blah.
  • Jessica makes a trip to Fangtasia and sucks the blood from the hot stranger she saw the last time she was there. And who catches her in the act but Sookie.
  • Marnie reveals she wants to bring back a person from the dead, as in raise a human body. And this is how Eric loses his memory. Enter nice, clueless Eric.
  • Luna reveals her mother died giving birth to her.
  • Sam takes off when the group smells a shifter…ie. his brother whose been lying about his leg. They argue.
  • Crystal and Felton change into panthers in order to change Jason into one of them so he and Crystal can make a baby together.
  • And finally, Sookie encounters Eric on her way home from Fangtasia. He has no idea who she is.

I’m crossing my fingers that next week’s episode finally shows Eric and Sookie in the shower.