Michael and Holly Bed Squeaking Gif
Dammit, Holly. You were always the best.

In olden times, you watched cable TV and downloaded stuff you wanted to watch (movies) or listen to (songs and viruses labeled as songs) with Limewire and that’s how it went. Nobody had a VPN and then that one kid got like a $100000 fine Then Netflix started streaming and then people started thinking they didn’t NEED both cable and internet. So they just got cable internet.

I stayed on the cable mountain but I am surrounded by people who “cut the cord” to one degree or another over the past 10 years. Off the top of my head I can think of:

  • One childless couple who only have Netflix and whatever one-off channels they can get a password for.
  • Another childless couple who I am pretty sure only have Netflix and DVD collections of shows that I am always surprised DVD collections exist for (like Magnum PI). And I have to wait a YEAR to talk about some things because they didn’t come out on Netflix yet. Ugh!
  • A couple with kids who have Netflix, Hulu, and the DC thing and some weird cable that has the networks but not good channels so they can’t watch 600 pound people or BBQ competitions.
  • A woman with kids who PRIDES herself on not having anything but digital broadcast TV and Netflix because “budget”. And she is extra annoying because while she brags about that, she also spends $300.00 on sunglasses. Ugh, just thinking of that made me mad.
I’m getting these and I will see you in the apocalypse, jerk! BUT YOU WON’T SEE ME EVEN THOUGH YOUR GLASSES ARE SO EXPENSIVE!

So why am I writing this, other than general bitching? Well, remember when you had cable and you didn’t want to pay for HBO so you downloaded everything? Well, that all stopped when people “cut the cord” because they got what they wanted from HBO Go and Netflix. But….

  • Disney is doing it’s own thing now, and it is taking all the Marvel and Star Wars (and Disney, derh) stuff off of Netflix. And since they also own Fox, who knows what else Netflix will lose. Which means people will get Disney.
  • NBC is doing its own pay thing and taking The Office and if they are smart they will build in a “meme saver” into the platform because who would not pay for that? And I guess some people will get the NBC thing because DVD sets of shows other than Magnum PI are expensive.
  • CBS is making The Stand which means if you want to see that you need ANOTHER thing.
  • Warner Brothers owns DC, and Harry Potter and a bunch of old stuff so what do you think they are gonna do?

So where are we now? Well, we are back where we were before Netflix streamed. People won’t pay for all the things they would have to pay for to get what they want, but they will still want them. That’s why VPN is going to make a come back.

I mean, VPN does a lot of other stuff for you, too. It keeps you safe online and keeps the man from finding out what you’re up to, so you should use one. My main point still stands, though.