I came across some distressing photos of Madonna while browsing the internet tubes recently. Really, when did she become a zombified Chernobyl survivor? Oh yes, ten years ago. My first thought is, who can protect us from a megalomaniacal ghoul whose unhingable vagina is the place where lost souls go to die? The great hero Ash, of course. A sawed off shotgun and a chainsaw versus a creature who looks like she’s been training with Dhalsim from Street Fighter. Gotta watch out for those yoga flames.
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Madonna’s vagina is like a mini Chuck Norris…you don’t screw it …it screws you. I’ve heard rumors that gun manufacturers test new weapons on it and the FBI forensics lab uses it to fire guns into so they can pull out the pristine slug to identify.
She eats nails for breakfast and by dinner she excretes pure gold.
Honestly though just her singing is enough for me to scream uncle.
Ash doesn’t stand a chance!
Bruce Campbell would win in a fight with Jesus. True fact.